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Thread: major malfunction

  1. #16
    an innate contradiction verybaddmom's Avatar
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    dave barry? isnt he that guy that writes that hysterically funny column for the Miami Herald? maybe a different guy?
    Then we sat on the edge of the earth, with our feet dangling over the side, and marvelled that we had found each other.

  2. #17
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    I thought of something, I'm obsessive about checking my emails, checking the forums, especially if I've started a thread, and checking for private messages, because I love the chat. When I am expecting a reply to an email or PM I am constantly checking for it.

  3. #18
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    I'm not sure VBM, seeing as I don't get the Miami Herald way up here in Canada, eh, but the story sure tickled my funny bone.

  4. #19
    an innate contradiction verybaddmom's Avatar
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    oh dear, well as i am also way up here in Canada (BC to be exact) i get it off the internet...well worth the trouble of finding it, which i have now saved you from....
    here is a link to someone who loves dave barry as much as i do....it's an angelfire site, so the popups are really bad, but i have to say: just read the "batman to the rescue" one, and tell me you dont have tears of laughter pouring down your face?!

    http://www.angelfire.com/fl2/email1/Barry.html

    also this is the herald site, where Barry's editorials are published. and from there you will find links to his official home page and so on...
    http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald...ts/dave_barry/

    enjoy! and let me know what you think!
    Then we sat on the edge of the earth, with our feet dangling over the side, and marvelled that we had found each other.

  5. #20
    King of Plastic Spoons imthefoolonthehill's Avatar
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    IWilKiku. I once made up a story about me jumping off the roof of a two story building to win a Capture the Flag game... at least I think I made it up... now at least 4 people remember seeing me do it... and I remember doing it... the only problem is... I also remember making the story up.... the implications of this terrifies me.
    Told by a fool, signifying nothing.

  6. #21
    freaky geeky emily655321's Avatar
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    That story-making stuff is amazing. The memory is far more fallible than not, it seems. A friend of the family once told us a really interesting story while my parents and I were visiting -- only, it had actually happened to my dad! How awkward.

    Dave Barry is published in the Boston Globe too, by the way. He is hilarious.
    If you had to live with this you'd rather lie than fall.
    You think I can't fly? Well, you just watch me!

    ~The Dresden Dolls

  7. #22
    fated loafer
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    I read the Batman article and had to laugh at the image of a guy dressed in car floor mats, haha!

  8. #23
    Right in the happy button IWilKikU's Avatar
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    The thing about my lies is that they're not worth telling. Like once when I was about ten I was at a friends house. We were in his back yard jumping on a trampolin. This car pulled up in front of his house, sat there for about thirty seconds, and drove off. When I got home I had this incontrolable urge to everyone a slightly different version of this where the guy in the car used cliche' kidnapping techniques that D.A.R.E. officers warn you about like "hey kid, come here. I've got somthing I want to show you." and My parents got all upset and called the police. I had absolutly no reason to make that up. It wasn't significant in any way. That's only one example that I can specifically remember out of a life time of little lies. But none of them are actually good stories that I could write and sell.
    ...Also baby duck hat would be good for parties.

  9. #24
    Drama Queen Koa's Avatar
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    Originally posted by amuse


    and from once when i saw this beautiful girl's hair on the bus in junior high, i've been obsessed about split ends. she was gorgeous, but her hair was so split the roots of her shiny black hair were a dirty yellow. i can't STAND my own. spend at least 15 minutes daily checking for them.

    [/B]
    that happens to me too... i detest hairdressers so much that last time I let my mum cut my hair a bit before split ends took over... I'm still rather black up on my head, and getting too clear on the ends...

    As for the topic...well I can't think of any obsession of this kind I have...my father has so many that some have been passed to me, but mostly cos I like to avoid being shouted at for days if i forget to do something...(like, I found myself checking 3 times if I closed the car, just like he does!)... I've never been obsessed about tidiness but I found myself annoyed when my English guy used to leave things everywhere, just because I've been shouted at for 20 years when I did so... But I can't think of any obessions of that sort I have which are not originated by my paranoid parents... Oh well excpet when I put cds or things like that in obsessive chronological order...
    dead on the inside, i've got nothing to prove
    keep me alive and give me something to lose

  10. #25
    smeghead
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    oh. man. I have so many. I'm gonna totally out disfunction all of you. I'm selectively anti-social, to the point of being an outright rude snob. It's something I hate about me, but really can't help. I can't talk to people I don't want to;like I can't hold a conversation for the sake of holding a conversation, openly sniggering at people who ask if I saw american idol. I can't be nice for the sake of being nice. I ate hot chocolate with marshmallows for the first time in my life one week ago. as of two days ago, I am now officially creeped out by trains. I seem to always wind up sitting next to/near a REALLL creep. *shudder* this sucks, because I used to really like trains
    Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
    (Mark Twain)

  11. #26
    Right in the happy button IWilKikU's Avatar
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    Feye, I like to think of actually watching American Idol as a malfunction.
    ...Also baby duck hat would be good for parties.

  12. #27
    smeghead
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    LOL. True!! Least I don't have that one.
    Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
    (Mark Twain)

  13. #28
    an innate contradiction verybaddmom's Avatar
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    but...but....but...
    is all reality tv watching a malfunction??
    Then we sat on the edge of the earth, with our feet dangling over the side, and marvelled that we had found each other.

  14. #29
    Right in the happy button IWilKikU's Avatar
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    uh... Osbournes is acceptable, but only if you acknowlege that its mostly staged. Do you like ALL reality tv? Cause I think it blows.
    ...Also baby duck hat would be good for parties.

  15. #30
    an innate contradiction verybaddmom's Avatar
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    no, not at all. although, i got a good giggle out of "the simple life" and i did really love that show "house rules". but mostly for reality tv i watch "American Chopper" like a religion....

    i am in the process of drafting a scathing letter to FOX network for their participation and promotion of the most disgusting show society (women in particular) have ever had the unfortunate opportunity to be subjected to:
    "The Swan".
    i dont know how many people have had a chance to hear about it, but it is absolutely sick. They take a group of about a dozen women, all 'ugly ducklings' and by way of surgery a la "Extreme makeover" they remake them into beautifully sculptured chunks of plastic...but they dont stop there....then they go on to hold a competition, beauty paegent style, for these women, where they are subjected to elimination for still not being beautiful enough.
    I have not actually seen the program, but have only seen ads for it (my son is virtually always absorbed by the simpsons on fox), and that is bad enough.
    yuck....
    Then we sat on the edge of the earth, with our feet dangling over the side, and marvelled that we had found each other.

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