a little jot last night...

[Beautifull]

so it isn't perfected yet,but i couldn't sleep last night until i wrote it down,it stuck to me...

Pitter Patter,Pitter Patter,
softly against my window,
while i lay my head to rest,
Pitter Patter.

Splish Splash,Splish Splash.
lightly against the patio side,
even while my pen descends to paper,
Splish Splash.

Drim Drum,Drim Drum,
loudly against my roof,
just as i cozy up on my couch,
Drim Drum.

Drip Drop, Drip Drop,
falling from the sky,
each drop,making a soft melody,
soothing my soul,
Drip drop.

Pitter Patter,
Splish Splash,
Drim Drum,
Drip Drop,
coming together,
to make a melody so sweet,
it soothes all the pain.

[blazeofglory]

Is the poem dedicated to children? Or just written for them. It is likened to a nursery rhyme. It has a beauty, something that soothes or appeals to kids. Beautifully written but is more suitable on the children forum.

Do not be discouraged and it demands great skills to write such poems, losing oneself to a world of children, in a dreamy world far from everyday realities.

[Beautifull]

like i said, it was just a jot down.
it was how i felt at the spur of the moment.

thank you for the complement though.

[blazeofglory]

like i said, it was just a jot down.
it was how i felt at the spur of the moment.

thank you for the complement though.

But they are different than the usual one and for that matter enthralling.

[Beautifull]

But they are different than the usual one and for that matter enthralling.

but you still think it's for the children's website?

[Tournesol]

Hi Beautifull!!

I really like your poem...and I love rainfall, so reading it made me pleased!

I would have to agree with blazeofglory, the poem has a certain childlike innocence to it, yet at the same time, it is very, very poetic...eg "each drop, making a soft melody, soothing my soul"...I love that line!

So, I think that it'd be a great way to introduce children to poetry!

[just as an aside - in one of my poems, I once referred to raindrops as 'window-water-diamonds'. I was inspired to name it thus as I waited at a traffic light. The rain had stopped, and the sun came out. The raindrops made these gorgeous shadows on the dashboard and my hands! I've been in love with raindrops ever since, I have the highest regard for them!]

[Beautifull]

wow!

yeah, i didn't start loving the rain until i went to a place where the rain didn't come so often and when it did...i loved it...the sound it made...the way it felt when i ran in it...and it was the luckiest of nights when i fell asleep just listening to it.and in reality, it does soothe a soul that needs it.

the rain is my favorite part...of anything really...and i'm glad someone else agrees with me!

oh! and thank you for the comment!

[qimissung]

A very good use of onomatopoeia ( I'm not entirely sure I spelled that right). This is a lovely poem. I'm sure children would like it, but it doesn't have to be limited to them.

[Beautifull]

hmm.but nothing in poetry world is limited, everyone reads it, so i don't think i will post this on the children's.i'll leave it here...thank you...

[Beautifull]

Another jot in the spur of the moment.

I
a one letter word
But is used to describe each unto their own
but every once in a while,
it is used in authority.

I over we
I over plain little me
I over you.

though it is so self-centered,
I is used to describe more than that.

I can help you
I appreciate you
I love you...

[Maximilianus]

I very much enjoyed both of your jot-downs, beauti. Very well done!

[The Walker]

so it isn't perfected yet,but i couldn't sleep last night until i wrote it down,it stuck to me...

Pitter Patter,Pitter Patter,
softly against my window,
while i lay my head to rest,
Pitter Patter.

Splish Splash,Splish Splash.
lightly against the patio side,
even while my pen descends to paper,
Splish Splash.

Drim Drum,Drim Drum,
loudly against my roof,
just as i cozy up on my couch,
Drim Drum.

Drip Drop, Drip Drop,
falling from the sky,
each drop,making a soft melody,
soothing my soul,
Drip drop.

Pitter Patter,
Splish Splash,
Drim Drum,
Drip Drop,
coming together,
to make a melody so sweet,
it soothes all the pain.

i liked very much this one! made me float for a little while

[Beautifull]

thank you very much!
i'm glad you found a little floaty time while reading one of my poems, Walker!

[Beautifull]

I very much enjoyed both of your jot-downs, beauti. Very well done!

do you really think so? thank you!
i was beginning to think that the first one wasn't so good...
but you made me feel better.

[Maximilianus]

do you really think so? thank you!
i was beginning to think that the first one wasn't so good...
but you made me feel better.

Sure I do!
Welcome!
They are both very good! Really good! In fact I like them so much that they are already bookmarked... I mean it, really.
Glad I repaired your spirit