[summary for those who don't know: since last September I've been living in Hungary as a foreign student, and I was back just a few days ago]
So... It has been wonderful. I'm wondering why I ctaully came back... Do you remember all my fears about seeing others live while I was hiding... Well, for once I was among the ones LIVING. I went out more than ever in my life, it wasn't always that worth it but why not, after all that wasn't going to go on forever...cheap places, friendly people...it's not something I meet often here in Italy (at least in my city). I brought there plenty of books to read and study thinking I'd have so much free time... I barely read one book, I actually had a lot to study until the social life took over.
It was just so easy to make friends, of course we were a big group of foreign students (and I am aware that I would have never made friend with some of them in a normal situation, but since we were all in the same thing we became pretty close so quickly), and the Hungarians are so friendly, if they sopke English there was not the least problem to be friends with them. Or even if they didnt speak any language besides Hungarian, they were friendly anyway... In a way, thinking about it, it was a bit like a forum, many people from different places, many interesting conversations....
One regret I have is not having lernt much of the Hungarian language, even if on my last days I was almost able to have a small conversation. But as i said, I was busy with many other courses and many other things... I ended up in a group of people who mostly cared a lot about going out, and even if sometimes I just wasnt in the mood to go out late and went out also with quieter people, I sometimes wished I could spend more time with the quieter ones...hard and long to explain.
So anyway...I found myself to be sociable, to be treated by boys as they treated all the other girls, that is with interest and respect (it still strikes me...I learnt not to expect them to be bad to me anymore, but still I expect indifference from most of them, at least the "popular" kind of boys), even able to danceand to just not care...in a word, able to enjoy. And it was so important to me, to open myself up that way.
Also, there were quite a few nights in places dedicated to my favourite kind of music, which is something I've never found here. In one of those nights I met a boy, he was nice but as I'm still experimenting how to flirt and how to handle a situation like that, nothing happened and I had no way to contact him anymore. I made a couple of mistakes and I wasnt caring so much at the moment, but thinking about it it would have been nice to have a Hungarian adventure...
So I m so happy about how positive this experience was, about how much positivity it gave me, and how much self confidence... but Im a bit worried about the next months... I m still having a positive mood and attitude, but here everything feels so different...even the city feels more artificial...I used to love the city where I live, now Im so indifferent to it, I pass from the centre bcause I need to, without caring, not with pleasure like before... The people are so different, it is actually known as a narrow-minded city... The music I like is not popular at all.. Going out requires so much more effort, it needs a car (how I loved to live in the centre there and always walk everywhere...and the public transport was actually efficient)..I dont know, the whole atmosphere feels much harder, and there wont be much in my life except studying, my few friends and possibly work.
At least it might not last long as I applied for a place of "teaching assistant" for next schoolyear in England.... I dont want to be a teacher in my future career but it was a chance to try the experience of living in England for a while...It wont be the same as Hungary for many reasons, but I seem to feel so much better everytime Im out of Italy so why not...
Ok, that was it..just needed to vent my impressions about how my life "changed" (for what matters), and I hope the details are gory enough for Jay
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, my kind of music can be defined as electro-pop I think...ever heard of Depeche Mode? Or new wave was also used to define those nights...I m never sure myself cos I dont like definitions and not everything fits in one, but most of the things I like most come from the 80s and have a quite dark mood...and involve synthetizers and such. And this kind of music is still pretty popular (like the 80s in general) in Hungary and in much of the eastern Europe for what I've seen. While here it's quite forgotten, I havent known many people who know it, nevermind people who like it...Disco and such only play commercial, hip-hop and latino-american here, and I dont like them. And my city is so narrow-minded that I doubt I can find a place about something that is not popular.
