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Thread: A smoky image

  1. #1
    Registered User Free Falcon's Avatar
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    A smoky image

    In the space of the horizon
    threads of smoke
    are gradually forming
    an image of a woman
    from the far past
    with a smoky smile
    and fire eyes
    The lips
    are an extract of the hell
    with heavenly colors
    and taste
    a smoky image of a woman
    which is formed
    by an exhalation of sadness
    during a smoking
    of memorial cigarette
    has gone
    with the next smoky breath
    and vanished
    in the space of forgetting
    Last edited by Free Falcon; 07-15-2009 at 03:38 PM.

  2. #2
    ^My Pen Name^ Justin Rockwell's Avatar
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    Pretty nice and original. I had an idea similar to this for a song I was writing a few weeks ago, but I scrapped it.

    please return the feedback....

    http://www.online-literature.com/for...ad.php?t=45182
    Myspace.com/JustinRockwellMusic

  3. #3
    Registered User Free Falcon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Justin Rockwell View Post
    Pretty nice and original. I had an idea similar to this for a song I was writing a few weeks ago, but I scrapped it.

    please return the feedback....

    http://www.online-literature.com/for...ad.php?t=45182
    Thank you justin

  4. #4
    in a blue moon amuse's Avatar
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    just curious, is "smoly" a combo of smoky and holy? if so, it's brilliant. (but if not, please don't change it; it's very inspired and fits in so well with the "heavenly colors.")
    shh!!!
    the air and water have been here a long time, and they are telling stories.

  5. #5
    Registered User Free Falcon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amuse View Post
    just curious, is "smoly" a combo of smoky and holy? if so, it's brilliant. (but if not, please don't change it; it's very inspired and fits in so well with the "heavenly colors.")
    Thank you my friend
    Your comment made me so happy
    It was a great risk for me to write poetry in english, thourh i write well in my mother tongue language..but your comment encouraged me to continue
    Thank you once again
    All the best

  6. #6
    Original Poster Buh4Bee's Avatar
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    I liked the idea of a memory appearing in something you see, like a cloud or in your case smoke. The smoke reminds me how real time fades into memories and we can remember in moments of sadness and either feel sadder or possibly happy. Nice!

  7. #7
    Registered User Free Falcon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jersea View Post
    I liked the idea of a memory appearing in something you see, like a cloud or in your case smoke. The smoke reminds me how real time fades into memories and we can remember in moments of sadness and either feel sadder or possibly happy. Nice!
    I am so happy that you liked it
    Thank you for being here
    All the best

  8. #8
    in a blue moon amuse's Avatar
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    All the Best to you, as well.
    shh!!!
    the air and water have been here a long time, and they are telling stories.

  9. #9
    Registered User paperleaves's Avatar
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    The imagery is gripping of the heart ...keep posting!
    "real
    loneliness
    is not
    necessarily
    limited to
    when
    you are
    alone
    "
    -C. Bukowski

  10. #10
    Registered User Free Falcon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paperleaves View Post
    The imagery is gripping of the heart ...keep posting!
    Thank you dear friend
    I am a proud of being here among you
    Your kind words are a part of inspiration
    Thanks to all ..and Thank you once again paperleaves

  11. #11
    :) Stephweet :) stephofthenight's Avatar
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    You put forth breathtaking imagery A very enjoyable piece. Thank you so much for sharing.

    "Be careful of quotes you find on the internet, they may not always be true" -Abraham Lincon-

  12. #12
    Registered User Free Falcon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephofthenight View Post
    You put forth breathtaking imagery A very enjoyable piece. Thank you so much for sharing.
    Wow
    Thank you stephofthenight
    Was a great pleasure to read your comment
    Thank you

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