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Thread: Black silk dress

  1. #1
    Registered User Biggus's Avatar
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    Black silk dress

    Her black silk dress
    Fitted her like a sheath
    The taut lines showed
    Her nakedness beneath

    Save for black-stockings
    Gartered at the thigh
    Stimulating to the loins
    And pleasing to the eye

    She turned every head
    With her glamorous allure
    Filled each one with thoughts
    None of which were pure

  2. #2
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    I nearly missed this, it sort of just sneeked in without my noticing. I'm glad it didn't get away though. Nice one. H

  3. #3
    flung (but not far) hack's Avatar
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    Good write Biggus!
    "Remember, we are all in this alone." - Lilly Tomlin

  4. #4
    Original Poster Buh4Bee's Avatar
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    I'm sure even the women who saw this woman had a thought or two about her. Exactingly vivid. Don't all women wish we were this woman. Now that's real power...

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biggus View Post
    Her black silk dress
    Fitted her like a sheath
    The taut lines showed
    Her nakedness beneath
    In this verse all the lines begin with an unstressed syllable except the second: "Fitted her like a sheath." Might consider changing that line to match the meter of the lines above and below.

    I like that you chose "black" as the color; it gives an interestingly sinister undertones and give a certain disconcerting feel to it all.
    Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any. — Mark Twain

    We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for, I have no idea. — W.H. Auden

  6. #6
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    Nice poem.. really conveys a image.

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  8. #8
    on the run lallison's Avatar
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    I like how it fits her like a sheath, makes her sound like a deadly weapon. Hot and clever!

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