Granted however they are a zombie and when they return with the scent of your urine they eat your brains.
I wish I was taller.
Granted however they are a zombie and when they return with the scent of your urine they eat your brains.
I wish I was taller.
For I have known them all already, known them all:
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?Eliot
Granted, you are a foot and a half taller. All of the height gained is in your neck and your muscles cannot support it. Your neck collapses under the weight of your head and unfortunately, you die.
I wish I had an extra hour each day.
Granted. You now have an extra hour in each day to spend cleaning cat vomit. Hooray!
I wish I had a nice cup of tea.
Granted - You hear a faint knock on the door. On your door mat, is a nice cup of tea with his luggage. Despite being nice, he has all sorts of problems and a huge appetite for expensive foods. Not to mention his gambling debt with the mean cup of tea... He's a huge burden but you don't have the heart to throw him out on the streets or drink him. Enjoy!
I wish I was more concise.
Granted, you are now a foot shorter.
I wish ice cream could make me lose weight.
I like poetry,long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick.
Granted, however the ice cream makes you so underweight that you look worse than a concentration camp victim, but you just can't stop eating ice cream because it is so addictive. You eat nothing but ice cream day and night, and grow thinner and thinner until there is nothing left for even your likewise starved cat to nibble on as he meaows pitifully in your dark apartment. You eventually die a slow and agonizing death.
I wish I didn't have any homework.
Granted. You don't have any homework. It was assigned, and everyone has it but you. By the way, it's due tomorrow.
I wish that everyone had to rhyme.
Granted.
All must rhyme
All the time.
'Till you go insane
And put a bullet in your brain.
I wish I had a jet-pack.
I like poetry,long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick.
Granted. A man crashes through your wall and dies after a half hour of bleeding. His jet-pack seems to be in workable condition though. After-all: finders, keepers. You also better fix that wall.
I wish to be a superhero!
Granted. You are now Hancock. Rude, obnoxious and no one loves you.
I wish to own a functional TARDIS.
Shall these bones live?
A functional T.A.R.D.I.S (Turkish Automatronic Robotic Device of International Supremacy) enters your house by force after destroying your home town. I sincerely hope that, since you own this terrible contraption, you can explain this to the police, or at least speak Turkish to give the T.A.R.D.I.S some orders to save your butt!
I wish that President Obama would write me a letter.
Last edited by MatthewFarlow; 04-11-2011 at 09:15 PM.
You got a letter from the President! It begins "Greetings." The draft has been reinstated, and you're first.
I wish I had UFC fighting skills.
You do but you're an oompa loompa and your opponent is the BFG.
I wish I had a satisfying career.
Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb
Granted. You are now a prostitute, satisfying the dregs of society when you're not in jail.
I wish I had a low-maintenance pet.
Granted. Your pet rock stares you down.
I wish to become a centaur!
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