# Writing > Personal Poetry >  A Little Bit Of Humour # 276 21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 426

## Biggus

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 426

Simple Simon met a pie man,
Going to the fair,
The pie man worked at Greggs
And his name was Kerr

MY REMOTE CONTROL STOPPED WORKING

My remote control stopped working
And wouldnt operate the TV 
It turned out that the batteries were dead
It was nothing short of AA calamity

I HAVE SUFFERED WITH KIDNEY STONES

I have suffered with Kidney stones
But I am happy to declare
That Elvis has left the building
With more than one Jordanaire

MY BEST FRIEND ASKED ABOUT MY MARRIAGE

My best friend asked about my marriage
And how things were going there
I said I hadnt spoken to her for three weeks
As I didn't want to interrupt her

ARE YOU WEARING POINTY SHOES?

Are you wearing pointy shoes?
Is that because they are on trend?
Well Im sorry but I have to ask
Do your toes go right to the end?

IF YOU NEED HELP WHEN MOVING HOUSE

If you need help when moving house
You can always call on your buddies
Its to be expected from everyday friends
But great friends help you move bodies

AN AGE OLD ADAGE THAT I KNOW 

An age old adage that I know 
States that friends may come and go
But more worrying to calculate
Is that enemies tend to accumulate

IF YOU SCRATCH A CYNIC

If you scratch a cynic,
Beneath the exterior, 
You will probably find
A disappointed dreamer

DONT LOOK BACK TO YESTERDAY

Dont look back to yesterday
Because that is now history
Instead look ahead to tomorrow
Because the future is a mystery

DONT TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED

Dont take life for granted
Treat each day as a gift
Theyre aptly called the present
And each one gives you a lift

DOES THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

Does the pursuit of happiness
Leave you ultimately unhappy
Then dont pursue happiness,
Instead you should just be happy

YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE AVOIDING CONFLICT

You spend your life avoiding conflict
My new therapist has just said
I suppose he has a point, because visiting
War zones fills me with dread

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## Pompey Bum

> MY BEST FRIEND ASKED ABOUT MY MARRIAGE
> 
> My best friend asked about my marriage
> And how things were going there
> I said I hadn’t spoken to her for three weeks
> As I didn't want to interrupt her.


 :FRlol:  Rodney Dangerfield eat your heart out! (Elvis has left the building is pretty good, too).

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## tailor STATELY

Another good collection  :Smile:  ... though I don't get #1

Ta ! _(short for tarradiddle)_,
tailor STATELY

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## Biggus

Thanks Pompey

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## Biggus

Thanks Tailor
Gregs are a chain of British bakers

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## tailor STATELY

Ahhhh... I was thinking of the Psychlo Ker

Ta ! _(short for tarradiddle)_,
tailor STATELY

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## tailor STATELY

.....

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