# Writing > Personal Poetry >  A Little Bit Of Humour # 262

## Biggus

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 412

Tuesdays child isnt full of grace
Because she and her friend Trace
Are full of cheap cider and ale
And will end up in A&E without fail

WHEN WE WERE KIDS, WE WOULD GO 

When we were kids, we would go
Out in the freshly fallen snow
And have a massive snowball fight
Doing battle till the enemy took flight

PUT DOWN # 64

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says hey doll can I buy you a drink
Give him a measured look and rebuff
Look I know we all sprang from apes,
But Im afraid you didn't spring far enough

I'M LOOKING FOR THE GIRL NEXT DOOR TYPE

I'm looking for the girl next door type
In my hunt for the perfect partner
So I'm just going to keep moving house
Until the day I eventually find her

MY BROTHER IS SO PESSIMISTIC

My brother is so pessimistic,
No matter what his circumstances
If there was a pessimism Olympics
He wouldn't fancy his chances

WHEN THE UMBRELLA 

When the umbrella 
Was first invented
It was to be called a Brella
But the man hesitated

GREAT BRITAIN WERE INVITED

Great Britain were invited
To the Belgium town of Mons
For the sun tanning Olympics
And the whole team got Bronze

PORNOGRAPHY IS OFTEN FROWNED UPON

Pornography is often frowned upon,
And viewed as degenerating
I frown when Im watching it 
But that's because I'm concentrating

I'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 10 YEARS,

I've been married for 10 years,
And mostly its been heaven
Its not all plain sailing as I 
Havent made a decision for seven

GOING TO A FANCY DRESS PARTY 

My friend told me he was going
To a fancy dress party 
Dressed as an Italian island
I told him not to be Sicily

ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK CAN STRIKE

Anaphylactic shock can strike
Even if you are normally well
And I can give you the cause
Of Anaphylaxis in a nutshell

COMBINE HARVESTERS

Combine Harvesters
And you'll have a really big restaurant
But a note of caution 
Service will still be at best, nonchalant

----------


## kiz_paws

Ha Ha, enjoyed the lot, Biggus!

----------


## Biggus

You're a great audience Kiz, thank you

----------

