# Writing > Short Story Sharing >  Brave New World

## Captain_Kuchiki

Hello everyone. It's been a while since I posted here, so I've come back with a new young adult fantasy novel that I've started. This is chapter 1, and I'll post more chapters later as I write the novel. Do enjoy! Rated T for teen.

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*Brave New World*

*by Ulquiorra9000*
*Chapter I: Sisters*

Anastasia Manikas, who preferred to go by "Anna", yawned as she rolled out of her hammock bed in the crew quarters of her pirate vessel, the Waveskimmer. Well, not quite a pirating ship. As Anna often told herself, the misfits and outcasts on board the _Waveskimmer_ were not throat cutters or village plunderers. Rather, the ship merely coasted from town to town, city to city in the brave new world that humanity now called home, and the crew mates did what they had to survive.

"Finally up?" teased Chara Manikas as the elder sister climbed to the upper deck and into the bright morning sunlight. Sixteen years old and with wavy red hair, Chara was the image of a wild younger sibling. Still, Chara's light brown eyes always hinted at the loneliness and loss that Anna tried to put behind the both of them. Both sisters wore clean but unassuming clothes: Anna, a long-sleeved blouse and pants and Chara, a short-sleeved shirt and knee-length pants. Both girls wore simple commoner's shoes.

"What do you mean, _finally_?" Anna asked as she tossed her brunette hair and tied it into a short ponytail. Unlike Chara, she kept her hair tidy and out of the way, the better to carry out her rogue-oriented skills. "Was I asleep that long?"

Chara glanced up, thinking. "Just a bit, I guess," she relented. "Still, you're just in time. Look! We finally made it... Passeleus, the shining capital of the Chrysos Federation. I've always wanted to see it, and here it is!" She faced the bay city and spread her arms wide as though greeting an old friend. Countless two- and three-story buildings made of brick, stone and wood cluttered the metropolis along with a few tall guard towers and lighthouses.

"It won't be shining as much once we're in there," Anna warned as the _Waveskimmer_, an outdated but functional caravel, sailed to the crowded bay's waters. "Trust me, Chara, it'll be just like everywhere else: thieves, mercenary thugs, organized crime, secret deals..." She shook her head.

Chara shuddered. "Cheer up for once, Anna! I know, we almost got caught by those hired goons back in that other town, but this will be different. We learn every time."

Anna paused before answering. At twenty years of age, she was a little young for a life on the sea but this harsh new colony world had forced her into it. Long has humanity left behind the old land to escape the poverty and civil wars, and now this untamed series of landmasses beckoned... but only rewarded the most cunning and daring. Two orphaned girls weren't exactly the type who thrived in the colonies, but as Chara said, they were learning. And they weren't entirely alone. "I guess you're right, Chara. I'm just trying to protect us, like I always do."

"You can say that again." Chara made a face.

"Chara..."

"Just kidding," Chara smiled as the ship's de facto captain, a wide-shouldered man named Rikos, came striding out of his quarters. Short black stubble coated his square jaw and his clothes were patched in a few places.

"We'll reach port in fifteen minutes. Time to get ready," Rikos warned the sisters. "Anna, Chara, it's both your turn to find some goods. We're low on bread, rum, sugar and medicine. Get to the bazaar and do your thing. We'll set sail as soon as you're back." He glanced at the bustling piers. "Port security is tight here, but we need those supplies. Get some breakfast before you head out."

Anna nodded. "You can count on us."

A while later, a few other members of the crew surfaced as the Waveskimmer sailed casually into Passeleus' docks and settled next to one of the slick wooden piers. As soon as the caravel's boarding ramp thumped onto the pier's thick wood, two uniformed Passeleus dock officials marched over, clad in identical sea-green outfits.

"Name and reason for visit?" one of the men demanded.

Rikos didn't flinch. "Captain Rikos Gossui of the _Waveskimmer_. Sending out my crew to buy some supplies. These girls are my shore party."

The official gave the Manikas siblings a sharp look but Anna had long since learned to endure withering glares. She got them rather often. "How long will you stay docked here?"

"Two or three hours, I expect," Rikos shrugged.

Glancing at the other official, the uniformed man slowly said, "We charge docking fees after the first hour. And not to be disrespectful, but your vessel is in poor shape and I need confirmation that you can afford those fees. Five gold gayas for the second hour here and ten for the third hour."

"Ah... yes, of course," captain Rikos said with a dismissive laugh, patting his pocket. "I have enough gaya coins for that, do not worry."

The official narrowed his eyes. "May we come aboard and check your cargo and treasury? Just for a moment?" His tone made it clear that it wasn't a request.

Rikos backed up a step and motioned with a hand. "Right away. May my shore party depart?"

"They may, but if they're not back after the third hour, you will be required to stay until they return, and you will be charged accordingly," the other official warned.

"I understand. Girls...?"

"We're going," Anna assured him, patting Chara on the back to get her moving. Once the both of them walked down the pier and into Passeleus' crowded streets, Anna finally released her built-up tension. "Still like the capital of the Chrysos Federation, Chara? Gold-hungry bastards..."

Chara's expression was somewhere between excitement and distaste. "I know, we're back to the world of strict rules and backstabbers," she smiled, slightly mocking her sister's deep caution against such things. "Come on, we have three hours! Let's explore the city a bit."

"For escape routes, I hope," Anna lowered her voice. "You know that we can't afford medicine and the brand of rum that captain Rikos likes."

"Oh please, I'm not five," Chara rolled her eyes. She pointed toward a bustling market. "How about there?"

Anna found herself dragged into a festive marketplace where brightly-colored banners overhead advertised all sorts of goodies from fresh fruits and vegetables to rare gems to firearms. Concealed under her worn jacket Anna had a flintlock pistol, a weapon she hated to use but knew that she had to fire sometimes. Twice already her life had been saved by that handheld thing. And here, she found whole racks of muskets and flint-lock pistols, even a few blunderbusses. The prices, though, deterred all customers except wealthy landowners who needed to supply their private armies.

On the lighter side of things, Anna gaped as she witnessed the colony world's most exotic beings. With the torso of a man but the furry legs and horned heads of wild bulls, minotaurs stood out of the crowd like a lighthouse at midnight. Each bipedal creature had clothing and piercings to represent his or her native tribe, some more haughtily than others.

"By the gods, Anna! Have you seen so many of them before?" Chara squealed.

"Don't point at them," Anna hissed, lowering her sister's pointing finger. Still, she had to admit that seeing this many minotaurs proved that she was in the colony world's biggest city. Rarely did the reclusive, pacifistic minotaurs mingle with human beings, though some of the more adventurous tribesmen worked hard to foster human-minotaur relations in terms of business, trade and artisan work. Indeed, the once-warlike minotaurs now supported themselves by all kinds of arts from glass blowing to wood carving to blacksmith work.

However, not even the finest minotaur blacksmiths could compete with the other native non-human race: the cyclopes.

"Okay, _now_ I'm really impressed." Anna couldn't help a thrilled smile as she saw a trio of cyclops knights walk past. Each ten feet tall, the cyclopes towered over even the minotaurs and their shining silver armor made them all the more awe-inspiring. These three carried their helmets under their arms and had their huge swords securely in their sheaths, and Anna had no doubt that these giants were employed in a private army somewhere. Even in this age of muskets and cannons, durable cyclops-made armor ensured that knights still had a place in most armies and militias, usually in less-developed colonies.

"You think those guys work for a local feudal lord?" Chara bubbled, unable to tear her eyes from the gleaming giants.

Anna nodded. "Just what I was thinking. Most cyclopes are either blacksmith or knights, but not both. And these guys obviously don't spend all day at the forge. Right?"

"Mmmmm," Chara nodded. Then a look of inspiration crossed her face. "I'll go ask them!"

"Hold on... wait!" Anna reached out a hand, but it was too late. Chara pushed her way through the crowds and dashed in front of the three cyclops knights.

_Chara and her adventurous streak,_ Anna mentally shook her head as she followed her sister. _When will she learn that it brings trouble?_

The lead knight held out a hand to halt his fellows, then glanced down at the excited human girl with his one giant eye. Unlike human beings, cyclopes had round heads with squashed, pug-like noses and rather wide mouths and no facial hair. Their skin was a cocoa color. Frowning slightly, the lead knight held out his armored hands and made a few rapid motions, communicating his thoughts with the human-cyclops sign language: _Why you block way, girl?_

Chara giggled and motioned back: _Curious. Fun. What is name?_

One of the other knights chuckled deeply while the lead cyclops shook his head and motioned his curt response. _Patrol for employer. Most go on. Leave us._

_But enjoyable for me to meet you. Never met cyclops before this._

The lead knight sighed and snapped his hand out in the commonly-accepted sign for _get out of my way._ Having no other choice, Chara stepped aside and the three knights lumbered on their way, scattering everyone else before them.

"What were you doing?" Anna hissed once she caught up to her sister. "Those guys are..."

"Harmless, Anna. When was the last time a cyclops knight bullied someone for no reason?" Chara bit back. "I know what they're like."

"Do you?"

Chara sighed. "I just want to have a little fun, even if you don't understand what that means."

Anna folded her arms. "You know I just want to keep us safe. Ever since dad..."

"I know. Let's just find that stupid medicine and rum," Chara snapped, walking off again into the bazaar and shoving past a startled minotaur.

"Sorry for her behavior," Anna told the humanoid as she passed. The minotaur nodded and shuffled along his way.

A while later, both sisters had caught sight of the goods that they were looking for. Just down the street lay a liquor store, and a few buildings down sat a medicine shop. Bread and sugar could be bough even with captain Rikos' modest treasury, so Anna dug out a few silver gayas from her pocket and soon had the goods in a cheap cloth pouch slung onto her back like a backpack. "You get the medicine and I'll take the rum," she whispered in her sister's ear when the both of them hid in a remote corner.

"We'll meet up over there, by that inn," Chara finished, pointing at a small but comfortable-looking inn down another street. "Then right back to port."

Anna nodded. "Let's go."

While Chara innocently made her way to the medicine shop, Anna peeked into the liquor store's front windows to get an idea of how to do this. Right now, a fat, balding man was reaching for a bottle on the rack for a customer but there was no one else inside. A wooden door, slightly ajar, revealed a store room in the back packed with bottles of whiskey, beers light and dark... and rum. _There's my prize._

Anna waited until the customer left, checked that there were no town guards around, then slipped around the building's side and checked the window to the store room. She silently thanked the store owner's forgetfulness: the window was unlocked and Anna slowly and quietly slid it up. Quiet as a mouse, Anna easily lifted herself up the window ledge and sprang into the store room.

Even more quietly, Anna closed the store room's door to completely muffle any sounds that she might make and then she turned to the hundreds of bottles on the wooden racks. She knew what brand of rum that captain Rikos liked, and he'd be upset if she brought back the right kind. She scanned the labels... where was it?

Heavy footsteps alerted Anna and she hastily seized a random rum bottle and slipped behind a barrel just as the store owner swung the door open and walked in. "Thought I left that thing open," the man muttered as he glanced at the door on his way in.

Holding her breath, Anna resisted the urge to check the man as he rummaged through his supplies. If he saw her peeking around the barrel's corner, she'd be caught with an angry store owner between her and this room's only two exits. Luckily, though, the balding man merely hummed to himself as he picked a few bottles and shuffled back to the store's main room.

_Time to split._ Anna slid her ill-gotten rum bottle into her backpack and gracefully slipped out the window, sliding it shut behind her. Then she turned and sprinted down the cluttered back alleys and made her way to the appointed rendezvous point. She stood before the inn, impatiently tapping her foot as she waited for Chara's unmistakable red mane of hair to appear in the crowd.

Finally Chara showed up, but she wasn't alone. "Thief! That's her, with the red hair!" a shopkeeper cried, jabbing a finger at the fleeing Chara.

Three town guards, clad in leather armor and bearing muskets, chased after the younger Manikas sister. "You're under arrest!" one of them shouted, but all three men were already panting from chasing the gazelle-like sprint of their quarry.

"Let's get out of here!" Chara shouted as she sprinted past her sister. Getting the cue, Anna bolted after her partner in crime and hurried down another back alley, actually hoping that the guards would chase them this way. The many barrels and planks of wood propped up in here would come in handy.

"Stop!" a guard hollered but Anna and Chara kept moving, and once Anna rounded a bend she kicked over a number of long, sturdy wood beams used in construction sites. The guards shouted in alarm as the heavy lumber crashed down on them, pinning one man under the sheer weight. The other two leaped over the wood pile and kept up the chase.

Making use of her light weight, Chara sprang from the long, wide alley floor and dashed up a catwalk ramp that ran alongside the back wall of a large building. Anna followed her up, but not before tipping over a few barrels to slow the guards down a bit. She didn't think that the guards would actually shoot petty thieves like them, but Anna didn't want to risk it. And as Anna planned, the two guards stumbled and strained their way through the alley's clutter.

"Home free!" Chara whooped.

"Let's get down!" Anna huffed, noting how creaky the catwalk was. It started to sway. "This thing's dangerous! The alley clears out soon. Get down!"

"It's okay!" Chara called over her shoulder as she ran. "I think I can..." She shrieked as her foot shattered a wooden plank and the catwalk came crashing down. Anna rolled off the catwalk and scrambled to her feet, grateful that the rum bottle in her backpack hadn't shattered.

Chara wasn't so lucky.

"Chara!" Anna shouted as she made her way toward her sister in the cluttered alley. Chara had crash-landed badly and a jagged piece of wood had scraped her arm and side, tearing right through her clothing.

Before the guards could catch up, Anna stopped and hoisted her sister to her feet. "Can you run?" she asked urgently.

Chara nodded tensely. "Let's go!"

The sisters hoisted themselves over a few barrels and cleared the alley just as the two guards fired their muskets, filling the alley with the loud boom of ignited gunpowder. Gray smoke wafted in the air as the musket balls pinged off the far wall, missing the two sisters by a wide margin. Nearby pedestrians shrieked at the sound of gunfire but Anna ignored it as she led Chara through a side route to avoid heavy traffic. By the time the sisters were halfway through the city, the guards had vanished and Anna stopped in another alley.

"Let me wrap that up," Anna muttered as she drew several clean rags from her pocket for emergencies like this. Chara winced as Anna bandaged the wounds.

"It was an accident," Chara grated as Anna finished tying the knots.

"An accident that nearly got us arrested, or even killed," Anna told her sister sternly, taking hold of her upper arms. "Maybe I should have come here alone. This city is too dangerous for..."

"Don't give me this lecture again," Chara growled, wrenching herself free of Anna's grip. "Let's go before more guards show up. Come on."

A hot retort surfaced in Anna's mind but she silently sprinted with her sister to one of the city's many exits and toward the piers. Both of them slowed down to a casual trot and Anna gave her long-sleeved coat to her sister to hide the makeshift bandages. Chara's short-sleeved shirt clearly exposed her wounds.

"Just under two hours," the same two pier guards nodded as Anna led her sister to the waiting _Waveskimmer_. He turned to captain Rikos. "That will be five..."

"I've got 'em, I've got 'em," Rikos grouched as he handed over the coins. He didn't have many to spare. "Now let my crewmen back on. I've got to sail."

"Have a safe trip, and do come back," the guard said with forced politeness as Anna and Chara walked across the boarding ramp. "Passeleus has much to offer."

"I'll remember that," Rikos commented as his other crewmen raised the ramp and slowly drifted the _Waveskimmer_ into the bay. Once the ship was heading out the bay with wind ruffling its triangular sails, Rikos turned to the girls. "How did it go? Get the goods?"

Both Anna and Chara set down their backpacks and revealed their contents. "Good, good," Rikos praised as he picked up the rum bottle. "You gals do good work."

"We were caught, though. Best to avoid this place for a while," Anna warned.

Rikos shrugged. "Noted, but there's plenty of other towns in the meantime. Take a few hours to yourself, girls. I've got a lunch prepared for you both. I think you deserve it."

"Thank you," Anna smiled as she led her sister into the _Waveskimmer_'s small dining hall. As soon as they both settled down, however, Anna turned to Chara. "Look, I didn't mean to be so hard on you in that alleyway. But I mean what I said. I hold myself responsible for you, and if you got really hurt... I'd never forgive myself."

Chara sighed as she picked at her food. "Thanks, sis, but still... you worry about me all the time but insist that we stay on the Waveskimmer, stealing goods from town to town. Why can't we just settle down and not have the danger in the first place?"

It was an argument that the Manikas sisters had had a hundred times ever since joining the _Waveskimmer_'s crew. "There's not enough work or space out there for two relatively unskilled people like us," Anna reminded her sister yet again. "Dad had a decent business but even he... you know."

Chara nodded. Two years ago, their father, a widower, had been forced to borrow more and more money from a local crime family until the gangsters had come back demanding their money. Unable to pay them back, Mr. Manikas had been stabbed to death before his two daughters' very eyes. Only narrowly had Anna and Chara gotten away, and ever since, they had been scarred by the colony world's unforgiving nature.

In general, this world was no place for youngsters. The colonies crawled with violent rivalry over land and treasure, not to mention deadly mercenaries, bandits, and organized crime. The lack of official, powerful governments and laws made things all the worse. Many proto-nations like the Chrysos Federation were close to becoming legitimate states, but there was a long way to go yet.

Finally Chara took a few small bites of her lunch, staring at her plate. "Do you think dad would be proud of us? Would mom?"

It was another question that the sisters often asked each other, and Anna was no closer to having a certain answer. "If we keep looking out for each other and avoid harming others, he'd be okay with us. And so would mom."

"Yeah," Chara said distractedly as she ate. "Dad would be proud of our pirate ship."

"Don't be like that," Anna protested her sister's mocking tone. "We don't have much other choice."

"I guess." Chara finished her lunch in silence and Anna did the same.

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## cafolini

I liked it. It is of course a fantasy. Comparatively speaking there are few people like that in actuality.

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## Captain_Kuchiki

Thanks for your support, cafolini  :Smile: 

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*Brave New World*

*by Ulquiorra9000*
*Chapter II: Fall From Grace*

Morning light shone through the tall windows as Elias Xanos, a field commander of the Chrysos Federation militia, studied his reflection in the bathroom mirror. At thirty two years old, he was not the youngest man to become an officer of the Federation's burgeoning army, but he wasn't the oldest, either. He'd successfully led a few campaigns against the Federation's troublesome neighbors, and today he'd do it again.

Sharp blue eyes stared back under thin brown eyebrows, the same color as Elias' short hair and week-old beard. He'd decided to try growing his beard out and it didn't look half bad, at least according to his wife.

"Whew. What a warm morning," commented Petra as she threw open the living room windows. At once, Elias felt a cool breeze waft in.

"Yeah. Too bad my uniform's made of wool," Elias chuckled as he put on his undershirt and ran a hand over his beard. He was still getting used to the sensation. "I'll be baking in that thing."

Petra joined her husband and wrapped her arms tightly around him. "You'll do great, hon," she promised, watching his face in the mirror. Like him, she had dark brown hair, but it grew down to her elbows in length. "I just wish that the militia gave you more time here in Passeleus. Seems like you're dragged off to more feudal battles than ever."

Elias ran his fingers over Petra's shoulder. "Me too. I can't do much about it, though. General Hykeus is making a big move against both the Dassos Combine and the Akti Union. The Federation can't grow unless we secure the best mines, farmland and room for urban development. In fact, the General..."

"I'm sure you'll be fine," Petra repeated herself, soothing her husband's rant. She knew that he took his work seriously, but hearing too much about the Chrysos Federation's battles against the other proto-nations made her uneasy. "Tell you what, after you're back, we'll take a vacation in the fruit-tree forest like those tourists. I hear that it can be simply beautiful out there."

"Mmmmm. That sounds like a great idea," Elias smiled, pecking his wife on the cheek. "Now I've got to get going. My carriage will show up any minute and I can't be late."

*o*o*o*o*

As he rode down Passeleus' brick roads towards the northern end, Elias sat back in his carriage and looked out the window at the city government, situated on a wide hill near the city's eastern end. Massive white stone buildings clustered atop the hill, supported by thick columns that gave the structures a regal, strong look. The domed roofs were tipped with spires and stone steps led up to the complex from all sides. From there, the Federation's leaders governed over three million citizens.

"Marvelous, isn't it?" the carriage driver commented as he caught Elias gazing at the government complex. "Hard to believe that thirty years ago, that hill was empty and Passeleus was just a little cluster of houses and barracks."

"A lot can be accomplished in a short time. That's the human spirit," Elias said distantly, unable to take his eyes from the complex. "You know, I've been thinking about moving into politics someday."

"You don't say?" the carriage driver looked back at Elias' red Federation militia uniform. "You're one of those soldiers fighting for our territory and gold mines, aren't you?"

"I'm a field commander," Elias told him. "But I want to make a difference some other way now. The people of the Federation need a visionary, a real leader to guide them into this wild new world."

The carriage driver threw his head back and laughed. "That's a bit lofty for me, good sir. All I know is if the Feds can keep invaders from out of the city and I keep my job until I'm an old man, then all is well."

"Yes," Elias said noncommittally. He had a bit more ambition than that.

"Well, my hat off to you for fighting to keep us all safe," the driver went on as the carriage rolled out of the city and onto a country road toward the militia garrison.

"Thank you."

*o*o*o*o*

That afternoon, Elias could barely hear his sergeants shouting updates to him over the deafening roar of cannons and volleys of musket shots as two small armies hammered each other in an open field. "Their western flank is falling back!" an officer shouted as Elias' cannons boomed in unison. Clouds of gray smoke wafted into the warm, thick air.

Mounted on his war horse, Elias nodded as he watched the two armies move across the field. He had three thousand men under his command, most of them mere infantry with muskets. Then his cannon men provided fire support and his cavalry units kept the enemy on their toes. The enemy had a similar, but slightly smaller force and Elias knew that at this rate, the day was his.

Plus, Elias had two more cyclops knights under his command than the Dassos Combine's militia. Six towering, armored giants waded through the battlefield on Elias' behalf, often kneeling to endure repeated cannon shots that slammed into their shields and armor. It had been quickly established during warfare that cyclops armor was nearly impervious to musket fire and bows and arrows, and only cannon shots could damage the armor enough to expose a knight's flesh. Rarely did the cyclops knights lend their swords to human militias, but when they did, usually in exchange for food and land, they were juggernauts.

"Tell the third division to move up that hill and cover the cyclopes. I don't want the enemy cannons to focus their fire," Elias ordered to the appropriate sergeant. He turned back to the battle and studied it closely. "And have the second cavalry squad prepared to intercept any flanking maneuvers on the east side."

At once the sergeants dashed off to convey the orders to their inferiors and Elias nervously held his breath as he watched the battle. Yes, the Combine troops were in disarray, and Elias' cyclops knights swept aside scores of enemy troopers with long sweeps of their swords. By Elias' orders, his troopers suppressed the enemy cannon crews while his cavalry prepared for a surprise attack. If he could keep the enemy falling back, then he'd gain uncontested control of the gold mines in this area that the Federation and Combine had been feuding over. Just a little more...

_Damn it!_ Elias narrowed his eyes as a Combine cavalry force, much bigger than he expected, came crashing out of the forest just like he predicted. At once his own horse-mounted troopers move to intercept them, but Combine horsemanship proved itself and Elias saw his cavalry unit torn to shreds. Without the cavalry support, the Combine flank attack cut right into his infantry lines.

"Sir! I advise we fall back!" an advisor shouted over the cannons as the battle's tide shifted in the Combine's favor. "We're in complete disarray!"

Elias ground his teeth. "We will hold!" he barked, then pointed out several areas of the battle. "Get those cyclopes over there to counter the enemy cavalry, then move the fourth division around that hill to slow the enemy tide. We have the advantage in numbers and superior equipment."

The nearby sergeants looked dubious but they carried out their commander's orders. As Elias watched, the Combine counter-attack indeed slowed down and Elias' six cyclops knights drove the Combine cavalry back. A minute later, a rare but awesome scene played out: cyclops duels. Amid the gun-toting infantry and clouds of gunpowder and fallen men, the cyclops knights from both sides clashed their six-foot long steel swords against each other with deafening screeches of metal on metal. The humanoid giants roared ferociously as they jockeyed to destroy each other's armor first. All the while, the giants fought with astounding discipline and grace that suggested years of dedicated training.

"We can win this. Just hold on," Elias assured his men as an enemy cyclops fell, crashing to the ground in a bleeding heap. But Elias was wrong: the Combine troopers reinvigorated their push and their cannonballs were suddenly forcing the Federation cyclopes to their knees. The armored giants desperately raised their round shields to deflect the cannons and the cannonballs bounced off the thick metal barriers. However, not even the knights' endurance could change what was happening. Before Elias' eyes, he saw his army disintegrating.

"We will not fall back!" Elias roared, panic clawing at his mind. This couldn't be! "I need those knights back in action! Suppress those enemy cannons now!"

"Sir, we cannot -" a sergeant began.

"We _will_!" Elias bellowed. "Rally the men!"

Back and forth went the tide of battle as the mingled infantry, cavalry and cyclopes fought for control of the field. By the time Elias called a general retreat, however, it was too late. The Federation men fell in heaps and the cyclops knights, overwhelmed by cannon fire and the three enemy cyclopes, collapsed where they stood.

"Fall back!" Elias hollered as he gathered the few remnants of his men, his mind numb from shock. In a matter of hours, the Combine had completely turned the situation against him and he was slowly starting to realize just how many men he had lost. "The day is theirs."

Although Elias and some of his men escaped the field and abandoned it to the Combine troops, he couldn't fight a growing sense of dread in his gut. He had to report the battle's outcome... and General Hykeus wasn't known for forgiveness.

*o*o*o*o*

"Utterly unforgivable!" spat the old General back his office in Passeleus' militia headquarters. He slammed a hand on his wooden desk, scattering maps and papers as he glared at Elias with his sharp eyes. "Not only did you lose the field, but you called the surrender too late!"

"General, I can explain..." Elias began.

"Explain nothing!" Hykeus roared, taking a step forward and jabbing a finger in Elias' face. "I read the reports. You thought you had the battle under control, but your foolish arrogance cost you not only your victory but the lives of just over two thousand men. Two thousand, field commander! How can you justify that?"

Elias felt his face burning as he endured the General's stare. "Sir, I fully accept responsibility for what happened." His mind wandered to the flogging post and he could already almost feel the whip across his back. He'd heard rumors of the punishments give nto disobedient officers and soldiers in the Federation militia.

General Hykeus sighed tiredly and ran a hand over his face. "You were a promising commander, but this is too much. You are hereby stripped of your rank and I will consider an appropriate punishment for your actions and hubris. Until then, you are on suspension."

Horror played out across Elias' face. "General, you cannot..."

"I can. Get out of here, Elias Xanos," the General demanded. "You have failed me."

Something snapped in Elias' mind. That was it. "Spare yourself the effort, General," he shook his head. His insides felt like lead. "I hereby resign the militia and all the privileges that have been given to me."

The General looked taken aback. "The militia was your passion! Defending the Federation..."

"I've figured out new ways to serve the Chrysos Federation. I can't bear to stay here any longer," Elias confessed heavily. He didn't blame his troops or the General for his predicament. He blamed himself alone.

"In that case, there's the door. Get out of my sight," General Hykeus demanded, motioning to his office door.

Tearing his eyes from the old man's, Elias stormed out of the office and returned all his militia possessions. It wasn't until later, though, that he felt the full weight of the defeat on his shoulders as he slowly walked back home through Passeleus' streets. He collapsed to his hands and knees on the sidewalk, oblivious to the people, carriages and minotaurs that passed him on the street. He felt his stomach churning unpleasantly and he thought he'd be sick from the self-loathing that washed over him. He felt dizzy.

_I thought I was destined for something greater! But all I cared about was my pride and vanity as a leader of men._ Elias felt his arms and legs trembling and sweat ran down his face. His breath came in ragged gasps. _Is this what it feels like to be shattered? To have everything taken away, both what the General gave me and the visions of grandeur that I had given myself?_

"Are you okay, mister?" asked a boy, probably no older than seven, as he knelt by the disgraced ex-commander.

Elias glanced at the kid's concerned face and waved the boy away. "I'm just fine, kid," he muttered, but it was far from the truth. "I just need a vacation, that's all. I've got to go."

There was no way he could face his wife after this, Elias knew as he staggered to his feet and started marching mechanically down the sidewalk. He didn't even want to think about her expression of shock and disappointment if he gave her the news. No, he had to get away from here and find some way to wash his soul of his selfish deeds and forgive himself. Somehow. The answer had to be out there.

He didn't stop walking until the sun had set and he was deep into the untamed wilderness and far from the safety of the city. Then he settled under a tree and finally found sleep.

----------


## Captain_Kuchiki

*Brave New World*

*by Ulquiorra9000*

*Chapter III: Sword for Hire*

As spring wore on, the warm, humid weather of the colony world grew even hotter and the crew of the _Waveskimmer_ often found themselves stopping at resorts to cool off. Thankfully, many of these establishments were cheap to attend and both Anna and Chara enjoyed wallowing in cool spring water with other tourists. Then, about a week after their visit to Passeleus, the Manikas sisters found themselves in a bustling trade town.

"Let's take a few days to enjoy ourselves," captain Rikos announced as he and his crew walked down the _Waveskimmer_'s ramp and onto the white sand beach. "Just don't buy anything too expensive here, all right?"

"What, we can't splurge once in a while? I'm tired of cheap living," commented Jeros, a fun-loving boy who had joined the _Waveskimmer_'s crew about a year ago. He rubbed his hands together as he eyed the lively bazaar and bars in the beach town.

"There's a reason we're careful with our money," Rikos warned him. "We can only make so much from salvage and trade."

Anna smiled. "Take it easy, Jeros. We can make ends meet _and_ have a good time. You just have to open your mind."

"I guess," Jeros muttered, wandering into town by himself. The other crew went their own ways and Anna found herself alone with her sister.

"Anything you want to try first?" Anna asked as she led Chara through the town's open wooden gates. She normally wasn't one for crowds but this place had a relaxed, open air to it. Most of the buildings were inns, bars, and a few workshops and warehouses. Wagons bearing trade goods and visitors constantly rolled in and out of town.

Chara fanned herself with a hand. "I could go for a drink before we poke around town. Seriously, are we that close to the equator?" She and Anna both wore shorts and sleeveless shirts in the warm afternoon.

"We could be," Anna said uncertainly. Cartographers were still hard at work mapping out the world and its features, which made navigation tricky, especially for small vessels like the _Waveskimmer_. Anna was never afraid of a little adventure, though.

"Why don't we try that place? Looks nice," Anna suggested, pointing at the nearest tavern. When she pushed open the doors and walked in, though, her attitude changed a little. A lone guitarist plucked on a beat-up lyre, avoiding meeting anyone's eyes while he accepted coins in a wooden tray. Several armored mercenaries took up the round tables in the barroom, shooting hard looks at anyone who passed them. The rest of the customers looked ordinary, though, and there was even a minotaur at the bar who ordered a tall glass of bright green juice with a lot of ice. The bull-man slurped it rather noisily but no one paid him any mind.

"What's a good drink for a cold day?" Anna asked as she and Chara walked up to the middle-aged woman behind the bar. "Non-alcoholic, if you please."

"Strawberry juice mixed with kiwis and blueberries, served with ice shavings," the bartender smiled. "Two?"

"That's fine." Anna took a seat next to Chara and looked around. "I'm new here. My name's Anna."

"Welcome to our cozy little town, Anna," the bartender said warmly, but Anna could hear a tense undertone in the woman's voice. "I'm guessing you're a merchant or traveling with some."

Anna shrugged. "Of sorts."

"How'd you know?" Chara piped up.

The woman smiled again as she set down the two drinks. "Because you're obviously not mercenaries."

Anna lowered her voice. "Like those big guys over there?"

"Right," the bartender nodded. "Mercenaries and sell-swords get a lot of business in these parts and they like to come through here just as much as traders. They keep my bar full, at least."

After taking a careful sip of her drink, Anna decided that this was the best juice in the entire colony world. She took another long drink and couldn't help asking, "So what's further down the sea due south? My ship has never gone that way before."

The bartender shrugged. "A few small islands, then some forts belonging to the Dassos Combine. But tell your captain to be careful. The Federation and Combine have stepped up their raid wars all over the place, and it's only a matter of time until the fighting gets dragged over here too."

Anna nodded silently as she took another sip. The Chrysos Federation was rapidly spiraling into full-blown war with the neighboring Dassos Combine and even the Akti Union from across the sea. Right now Anna and Chara were still in Federation lands, so they'd have to watch out for bloodthirsty Combine mercenaries and soldiers.

The bar's door swung open and Anna heard light but solid footsteps approach the bar. She didn't turn until a young man about her age settled into the seat on her other side. He wore leather armor and had a short, curved sword slung on his back, not to mention a whole array of throwing knives on his belt and a pair of flint-lock pistols tucked into his right boot. He requested a cold drink and rested his elbow on the bar, chin in hand. He looked a bit bored.

"You look loaded for bear," Anna joked nervously as Chara curiously watched the minotaur a few seats own.

The man looked over at Anna and for a second Anna recoiled, wondering if she'd said something stupid. Then the man sat up and laughed. "I guess I give that impression, huh?"

Anna shared his laugh, feeling the tension ease a bit. "Pretty much."

The man reached around and gave his sword a fond pat. "Can't help it, though. In my line of work, if I don't find trouble, it finds me."

"What exactly is your work, anyway?" Anna asked curiously as the man accepted a cold glass and chugged its dark blue juice.

"I'm a sword for hire," the man explained. He glanced up in contemplation. "Well... that's one way to put it. I'm a variety of things. Mercenary, bodyguard for hire, agent for hire, enforcer for hire..."

"I think I get the picture," Anna smiled as she took another sip. Fruit juice seemed popular around here. Was there an orchard nearby? "My name's Anna. How about you?"

The man set his glass down. "You can call me Nikolas, or just Nick for short. Everyone does."

"Okay, mysterious guy," Anna teased. He sure didn't _look_ like a thug for hire. His short brown hair, angular features and calm air belied his apparent skills. Anna and Chara were both capable of defending themselves from troublemakers, but this sword for hire looked like the real deal. Anna distantly wondered if he was an assassin too.

"Eh, I sometimes to assassination. But not often," Nick shrugged as he took another drink.

Anna blinked. "That's just what I was wondering. How'd you know?"

Nick laughed again. "Conversations with me always come to the assassination question. But don't worry, I won't hurt anyone in this room unless they start something first."

"You think I'm scared of you?" Anna raised her eyebrows, poking a finger at Nick's sleeved arm.

An apologetic look crossed Nick's face. "I didn't mean to imply..."

"Just kidding. Sheesh." Anna fought a grin as she sipped her drink, polishing it off. She'd met many strangers during her travels, but Nick stood out to her. "You're all right. Easy to get along with."

"Good to know." Nick paused for a second. "So are you a drifter, like me?"

"Of sorts." Anna didn't want to divulge too many details too fast. She had worked hard to keep her and her sister safe aboard the Waveskimmer and didn't want that life shattered. "I do a little trading."

"Then you came to the right place," Nick said, raising his glass as a sort of toast. "I think you'll like it here. I've met many clients in this very bar."

"I'll bet you have. So are you meeting anyone here today?"

Nick hesitated and Anna rushed an apology. "Wait, maybe it's not my business..."

"Well... this town has had some trouble with a few local gangs," Nick confessed. "Mostly Barbaro's Bandits, a gaggle of thugs who like to come through here and extort all kinds of items and money too. I've fought them before but they keep coming back and getting new members. My most recent client wants me to scare them off yet again and send a message... in blood."

Anna shivered. "Bloodshed isn't really my thing."

"I try to lure them away from innocent lives," Nick added quickly. "That makes it quick and clean to take those guys down. If someone has to do it, it might as well be me."

He finished off his drink, left a few bronze gayas on the counter and stood. "It was nice to meet you, Anna," he grinned. "Maybe I'll see you in this bar again someday."

"I wouldn't mind," Anna smiled back. "Until then." She watched him walk back through the bar and out the front door, wondering what it would be like to wander the wild colonies fighting people for money with swords and knives. It was strenuous enough to be a rogue trader and petty thief, but a sword for hire? Not even the toughest man on the _Waveskimmer_, a brawny widower named Pallako, did anything like that. _Though there was that one time Pallako won an arm-wrestling tournament at a port town to earn the crew some money..._

Anna turned to Chara but found that her sister had moved to a table and was chatting quietly with what looked like a local farmer. Giving the bartender a handful of bronze gayas, Anna hopped down from her bar stool and joined her sister. "So do you want to poke around for a while?" Anna asked. "I'll bet the other crew members found great stuff already."

"Sure thing." Chara got up and thanked the farmer for his time before leaving the bar with her sister.

As the siblings explored the displays of jewels, armor, and exotic animals at the bazaar, Anna couldn't help but ask, "What did you chat about with that guy?"

"Oh him? Just local gossip," Chara said dismissively. "I think there's a few bandit gangs around here, so we'd better be careful."

"Oh yeah, Nick told me too," Anna added. "That sword for hire who sat next to me..."

"Him?" Chara prodded her sister mischievously.

"Yeah, that guy. He was pretty nice... for a mercenary and sword for hire."

"So you like his type, huh?" Chara smirked.

Anna tried not to blush. "That's... no no, I didn't mean that. We just chatted, that's all."

"Just kidding. We don't have any business with his type, anyway. Best to avoid that kind of trouble."

"Yeah," Anna agreed, though she couldn't get Nick out of her mind. She wondered what had turned a guy like him to a killer for rent.

*o*o*o*o*

After spending the night on board the _Waveskimmer_ with the rest of the crew at the town's pier, Anna and Chara were both in the mood to spend another hot, idle day visiting town and seeing the sights. As they walked back into town to the already-crowded bazaar, Chara spoke up. "So I hear that there's a few farming communities around here."

"I bet that's where this place's fruits all come from," Anna commented. "That drink bar was loaded with exotic fruit juices."

"Yeah, there's a few rural towns further down the sea," Chara said excitedly. "I'd like to see them as soon as the _Waveskimmer_ sets sail."

Anna frowned. "You want to visit backwater farm towns? Why? That doesn't sound too exciting..."

"Well..." Chara chewed her lower lip. "Um..."

"Come on, you can tell me."

"Just to get away from all the noise of the city and see the real people at work. Passeleus was awful!"

"True." Anna could see her sister's point: ordinary farmers and artisans never got the glory of militia commanders or city officials, but they were the real driving force behind any human settlement. She smiled to herself. Living a humble life can teach all kinds of lessons.

Anna heard the wooden clatter of a horse-drawn wagon being carted into town, but she didn't turn around until she heard the unpleasant jeers and shouts from the carriage's occupants. She and Chara turned around just as the men in the carriage hopped down and brandished their weapons, mostly old muskets and curved swords.

"We're back!" a fat man with a short black beard and leather vest hollered as he waved his musket around at the terrified townsfolk. He smiled, revealing crooked teeth. "You worms had better have good stuff for us!"

"It's those raiders," Chara hissed in Anna's ear, who nodded grimly. Neither of them wanted to get caught in the crossfire.

"We told you last time, our town can barely support itself from trade," a local man spoke up, bravely approaching the bearded bandit. "We have nothing more to give to you."

The bandit fixed his piggish eyes on the man and laughed. "Hear that, boys? These guys aren't feeling too generous today!"

"Gut him and mount his skull as a warning," a brawny minotaur huffed. He had blades woven into his neck fur and a necklace of finger bones around his neck. At the moment, he held a flintlock pistol that looked tiny in his massive hand, but no less deadly for it. A sword was sheathed at his loincloth's belt.

The bearded man grinned. "Not a bad idea, Manu." He aimed down his rifle's sights and squeezed the trigger. With an ear-splitting boom, the rifle brought the brave man down to his knees, clutching at a bleeding wound on his thigh.

"I want twice what we got last time!" the bandit leader shouted as his men spread out to intimidate the locals. "Bring it all here in a wagon. Don't try any tricks or we kill the next one who speaks out against us. In fact..." He motioned to his men. "Take a few captives to make sure the others cooperate."

_We've got to get out of here._ Anna lightly tapped her finger on Chara's arm and the other nodded. Just before the sisters could make a move, however, a bald raider approached them with his knife held high and seized Anna from behind. He held Anna close to his chest with one arm while pressing his knife's sharp edge to Anna's exposed throat.

"Anna!" Chara protested, but she fell silent when another raider grabbed her from behind and pressed his pistol's muzzle at her temple.

"Let them go!" a jeweler cried, pointing her finger at the sisters. "They're just girls. You can't do this!"

"I can," the lead bandit smirked. "Get me what I want or they die! Everything of value in this pitiful town. Move!"

Giving the bandits dark glares, the people reluctantly brought out their wares and loaded them onto an empty wagon. All the while, the bandits chuckled at their easy victory and kept their muskets and pistols aimed at the citizens.

Anna studied the lead bandit. _He must be Barbaro,_ she thought. _Must be a tough guy if he can get all these goons working for him. He's even got two minotaurs in his crew._ Indeed, a pair of minotaurs stood among their human compatriots, both with blades and human bones woven ceremoniously into their fur.

Thing was, the Manikas sisters didn't take threats lightly.

Anna glanced over at Chara and nodded slightly. Chara nodded back with a grin, clearly tensing her body for action.

"Hey, you girls hold still or -" Anna's captor started, until the back of Anna's head smashed into his nose and broke it with a wet crunch.

At once, Anna felt the raider's arm slacken and the man's knife hand clumsily swept the blade through the air. Anna easily ducked the blow and swept her leg out, sending the bandit crumpling to the dusty ground. At the same time, Chara stomped on her captor's foot to shock him, then knocked his pistol to the ground with a vicious blow and squirmed out of harm's way.

"You *****!" Anna's captor snarled as he clapped a hand over his bleeding nose.

"Too bad, bozo," Anna smirked.

"Don't let those twerps get the best of you! Restrain them!" Barbaro shouted, motioning with his musket. Several other raiders hurried over to restrain the escapees but Anna and Chara were already in motion. While Chara slipped out of sight behind the trees and carts in the bazaar area, Anna pushed her way through the screaming crowd and behind a stack of crates. She was already analyzing her surroundings for another escape route, determined to make her way back to the shelter of the _Waveskimmer_. Obviously, it was time to leave town.

"Got you!" a raider leered as he and his friend popped out from the stack's other side, swords held high. "You think you can make fools of us?"

Knowing better than to attack someone with a sword, Anna kicked up a patch of dry, dusty dirt to blind the raiders and made a mad dash for the pier. It didn't work; the bandits caught up and Anna felt a sword blade graze her calf muscle. Crying out in pain, Anna staggered a few steps and fell on her rear, unable to tear her eyes from the approaching bandits.

With a flash of silver, one of the bandits gurgled blood and tumbled to the ground. A throwing knife poked out of his neck.

"Bastard!" the other bandit shouted as a young man clad in leather armor sprinted onto the scene. The bandit slashed out his sword, only to miss as Nick ducked the blow and stabbed another knife into the man's arm. In one quick motion, Nick knocked the man down and delivered a heavy kick to the temple.

"You okay?" Nick huffed as he offered Anna a hand.

"I'm fine," Anna winced as she let Nick hoist her up. She wobbled on her feet. "Let me find a way to bandage this in a minute. But my sister..."

"Yeah," Nick nodded and sprinted off. Anna limped her way over to a tree and leaned on it, watching as Nick sprinted after the three men who were pursuing Chara. The younger Manikas sister had blackened one bandit's eye but now the men drew their flintlock pistols, unwilling to put up with Chara any longer. With a few slashes of his sword, Nick expertly dispatched the raiders.

Once the men were taken out, Barbaro and his few remaining followers approached Nick in a group, including both minotaurs. Barbaro spat on the ground in contempt. "So this town has a guard dog! I'll put you down right quick." He tossed aside his musket and drew a pistol, snapping off a quick shot.

Nick was already moving and by the time Barbaro took his shot, the sword for hire had tumbled into cover behind a wagon and let the bullet punch into the wagon's wooden frame instead. A few second later, Nick emerged from the wagon's other side, one his own pistols in hand. One of Barbaro's men crumpled from a chest shot and Nick tossed the pistol aside, drawing his other one. A second bandit fell before Barbaro's men could return fire.

"Damn it! Kill him already!" Barbaro shouted, drawing his sword. Six bandits charged at the lone sell-sword and Nick drew his own blade. Metal clashed loudly and dust clouds filled the air as the seven men dived into a deadly battle, but when the dust cleared, only Nick and Barbaro were left standing.

Barbaro, with a look of disbelief and terror on his face, slowly backed away from the younger man. "What... what are you?" he wailed. "My men..."

"Are poorly trained. They rely on fear to get what they want, not skill," Nick thundered, taking a few deliberate steps toward the bandit leader. "All it takes is for someone to stand up to them. I know how bullies work."

Barbaro's breaths came in deep rasps as he shakily raised his sword to a defensive position. "Come and get me!"

Nick's foot kicked away his opponent's sword and with a stab of his own blade, Nick sent Barbaro crashing onto his back with a blood-soaked neck.

"They will bother us no more," Nick announced, sheathing his sword. He had bruises and cuts on his face and hands but otherwise looked fine. "The contents of their wagon will be distributed as the mayor sees fit. Looks like we're the ones who'll get rich from this little encounter."

A crowd formed around Nick as the townsfolk earnestly thanked him, reaching out to offer their coins in gratitude. At the same time a few townsfolk hurried over to bring the wounded local man to the town's infirmary. Then Chara reunited with her sister, a look of concern on her face. "Anna, your leg..."

"It's not too bad," Anna said with a bracing smile. "I think we're done with this town."

"Yeah." Chara looked over at Nick, who was trying to worm his way out of the crowd. "Can you believe that guy? He took out all the bandits! All by himself!"

"He's been trained well, I guess," Anna shrugged. Personally, she abhorred violence and wished there was no need for enforcers like Nick. But the world was what it was. "Let's get back to the _Waveskimmer_. That's enough excitement for one day."

As the sisters walked back to the waiting ship, Chara commented, "Still... I think we were pretty good ourselves out there. I've never been held captive like that before, but those jerks couldn't hold us."

"I know," Anna shivered. "But I'd rather not have any of that happen again."

----------


## Captain_Kuchiki

*Brave New World*

*by Ulquiorra9000*

*Chapter IV: Visions*

It was already evening by the time Nick disembarked from the taxi carriage in the suburbs of his home city, and the sword for hire quickly tromped down the cobble-stone sidewalk toward the house he called home. All around him, square windows glowed yellow from candlelight within and smoke curled from most houses' chimneys. A few houses down, Nick heard a dog woofing at the top of its lungs in someone's backyard.

This was Anapatos, the second-largest city in the Chrysos Federation. It lacked the busy ports and businesses of Passeleus, but it was comfortable enough, and it lay right in the middle of a network of newly-built roads. Only a few miles from here, those trade roads led right into the Dassos Combine's lands.

Too bad the Federation and Combine were on the verge of declaring total war.

After he took a deep breath and wiped his sweaty brow in the warm evening air, Nick raised a hand and knocked on the front door. At once the door swung wide open, revealing a beaming teenage girl. "You're just in time," the babysitter said. She looked over her shoulder. "Kids, your big brother is back home!"

"Nick!" Two pre-teen boys and a younger girl came rushing to the front door, jostling to embrace their much-older brother.

"Hey, guys. I've missed you." Nick crouched and wrapped his three siblings in a wide hug.

"Which of us did you miss the most?" one boy, Mihail, asked eagerly.

"All you guys equally, of course," Nick smiled as he stood and ushered everyone back inside. He dug into his pocket, handing a few gold gayas into the babysitter's hand.

"This much?" the girl asked, eyeing the coins.

Nick shrugged off his leather jacket and hung it in the closet nearby. "I make enough as it is. For all you do for me and my family, I ought to pay you more."

The girl pocketed the money and walked out the front door. "I'll be back tomorrow, then," she said in parting.

After shutting the door, Nick sighed and crumpled into the living room's armchair. The room was well-furnished and tastefully decorated, a reflection on how Nick's parents had lived their lives before passing away in a plague the year before last.

"What's wrong, Nick?" Mihail asked nervously as the kids crowded around their brother again. "Are you tired?"

Nick ran a hand over his face. "Yeah. I'm just tired." _Tired of the increasing corruption and bloodshed in the world. The colony world is a place we all share, but each nation thinks it should own it all. And my work just adds to it! But it's the only thing I'm really good at._

"I made something for you," the other brother, Gus, piped up, offering a wooden stick whittled into a sword. Nick accepted it and looked it over fondly.

"You made this all yourself?"

"Yeah," Gus said proudly. "I guess I like art. I made a bird model yesterday too."

"A bad one," Mihail teased.

Nick turned the wooden sword over in his hands. "Hey, Mihail, your brother's working hard. Show a little support, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

There was silence for a moment. "Nick, we miss you a lot," the girl, Eleni, admitted. "We wish you could be home more instead of the babysitter all the time."

Nick patted a hand on Eleni's head. "I know, but I can only make money when I'm doing my job out there in the world. Trust me, this is best for us all. But yeah, I want to be with you guys more too."

"You could take at least one day off," Gus suggested hopefully.

_Could I?_ Nick looked out the window at the darkening neighborhood and made a decision. He looked back to his three siblings. "You know what, guys, tomorrow we'll go on a picnic and see some minotaurs and doo all kinds of cool stuff together. Doesn't that sounds great?"

The kids cheered. "Thank you, big brother!"

_Yeah,_ Nick thought. _The world can go without me for a day. These three are the world to me._

*o*o*o*o*

Elias didn't know where he was going, but wherever it was, he let his tired feet drag him there one shuffling step at a time. The sun had tracked across the sky and the moon had replaced it, slowly doing its dance across the sky as the stars rotated overhead. Rabbits, deer, birds, and foxes all fled the lone man as he marched past, their dark eyes watching him alertly. He was a stranger in their world, and for the moment, Elias felt like a stranger to the human world too.

Some said that people who wandered into the wilderness came back changed, sometimes for the better and other times for the worse. The colony world had much to teach, apparently, ad not just from the minotaur artisans or the cyclops blacksmiths. Maybe it was the new perspective, the break from the ambition and greed of the colony governments?

Hunger rumbled in Elias' stomach as he went and thirst parched his throat and mouth, but he barely ever stopped for a break. Only once did he pause to drink from a stream, startling a pair of deer in the process. He had watched the two animals bound into the forest and thought how everyone would reject him now. Whenever he didn't distract himself by walking, the faces of the men whose lives he had wasted came to mind and it hurt every time.

Exactly how many lives had been sacrificed for Elias' ambition and vanity as a militia commander? All he had thought about was himself, not the needs of the Federation or the militia's enlisted men. Over and over he replayed the battle in his mind and tried to justify his actions, find some narrow angle that made everything okay.

There wasn't one. Elias was a butcher of men.

Early morning had just started creeping across the dark landscape when Elias' feet tripped over themselves and he crumpled under the safety of a few trees at the edge of a forest. He tore off his shoes and massaged his sore feet as he watched the sun's brilliant edge poke over the horizon. Nature was already fascinating to him. No matter the pride or shame or victory or defeat of a man, the natural way mindlessly repeated its cycles with supreme indifference. There was no judgment or hatred or love out here. Just the cycles of sun and moon and life and death.

_Okay, that's enough deep thinking for now._ Elias sighed as he flopped onto his back, his simple cotton shirt and pants clinging to his sweaty, dirty body. He ran a hand through his short brown hair and across the stubble on his jaw. No doubt he looked horrible right now. Back home, Petra would toss him into the bathtub and demand a complete scrub-down with a loving smile.

Elias chuckled at the thought as he felt his eyelids droop. He crawled around to find a more comfortable patch of dirt to sleep on, but he felt himself jolted fully awake when his hand brushed against the cool scales of a snake. With a hiss, the reptile reared its muscular body and bared its fangs.

"Damn it!" Elias scrambled back from the snake, but he realized that he had come across a emerald viper, a green-scaled species known for its territorial behavior. And Elias was a trespasser in the reptile's eyes. He realized this just as the snake lashed out with blinding speed, sinking its fangs into Elias' left thigh.

Crying out, Elias crumpled and seized his leg, gasping as a stinging pain shot up his leg and up his spine. Then the bite burned as though on fire and Elias suddenly felt light-headed, and not just from his hunger or exhaustion.

Carefully, Elias crawled away from the hissing snake and away from its forest territory, wondering if the gods had decided that this was the time to punish him for his vanity and greed on the battlefield. Emerald viper bites were rarely fatal, but they hurt like hell and could keep a large man bedridden for days if the bite was serious enough. They also drove people insane, causing them to hear "voices." Elias hoped that he wouldn't go crazy on top of everything else.

"Stupid snake," Elias muttered, tearing off his shirt sleeves to make a bandage for his leg. He squeezed out some blood in the off-chance that he'd get some of the venom out, then tied the leg tight and rested on his back again, staring at the early morning sky. There wasn't anything else to do. He let sleep overtake him.

*o*o*o*o*

"Wake up, Elias. It's morning. Can't you tell?"

Elias sat bolt upright in the late morning light, his heart hammering and his scalp cold with sweat. Who had said that? He looked this way and that, but he was alone save for wildlife. A fox warily watched him from afar with its cunning eyes, but foxes couldn't talk, of course.

"Good, you're up. We've got things to talk about."

"Yaaaah!" With a thrill of terror, Elias sprang to his feet with his hands balled into fists, then winced as his snake bite wounds burned from the exertion. The bleeding had long since stopped and the stabbing pain was gone, but the wounds themselves still hurt.

There was a second of silence. "It would help if you could see me," came the voice again, a tenor male voice that sounded equally amused and pitying. "Find a source of water. Nice and reflective. Like a mirror."

"Who's there? This isn't funny!" Elias tried to shout, but his voice was hoarse and weak. He sounded more pitiful than intimidating. How was this possible? No one else was around, not even in shouting distance, let alone indoor-voice distance.

"It's no joke, Elias," the voice persisted. "As to who I am... it's complicated. Just find some water and we can clear things up. Your life is about to change for the better. Sounds great, doesn't it?"

Adrenaline coursed through Elias' body as his fight-or-flight instinct fired up. But fight or run from what? He was hearing voices, like some snake bite victims claimed. Suddenly he felt deeply sorry for the victims who were branded as insane.

_Why not indulge it for now?_ Elias wondered as he walked off in search of a stream or creek. He had come into the wild to find answers. Could this voice be the salvation that he was looking for?

In a few minutes Elias found himself crouching by a burbling stream's muddy banks, his bare feet sinking a bit into the mud. He stared at his face in the water. What was he supposed to see? Just the little fish that swam past in the currents?

Then, another man's face materialized next to Elias' in the water. Elisa jumped and whirled around, but again, he was alone. With his nerves tingling, Elias slowly turned back to the man's face, which started to smile.

"Here I am, Elias. Don't be afraid. I can't hurt you. I don't even want to. How about a partnership instead?"

Elias forced a laugh. "With a man who appears in streams and talk in my mind? You're asking a bit much, pal." He noted that the man looked like just a face in the crowd, an everyday man. He was bald and had piercing eyes, but was otherwise unremarkable.

"I can do more than that, Elias. At least, when I manifest," the man offered. "I'm young and still developing. But by this time tomorrow, your new abilities will be ready for use. And oh, what use we will make of them!" He chuckled, a chilling but oddly enticing sound.

Elias was now more intrigued than afraid. "I never thought I'd talk with a vision like this. Am I... no. No way."

"No way what?" the man's face asked impatiently.

"Am I... a sorcerer now?"

It was a valid question. Sometimes, when a person back back from the wilds, he or she wielded superhuman abilities. Some conjured flames from their fingertips. Others could manipulate water with the wave of a hand. A few others could levitate themselves or even move faster than the eye could see. And every time, there was evidence of either an animal bite or ingestion of a strange fungus or plant. The colony world, it seemed, teemed with gifts. But at what price?

"Yes, I am a product of this world's sorcery," the man answered. "Sometimes a toxic fruit can grant that power, or a deadly mushroom. Sorcery always comes with a price, and often it kills those who seek it. Only the strong survive to embrace it. And you, Elias, are strong."

Elias shook his head. This man had many answers, but there still were more questions. "Why me? Why do I deserve sorcery? And what abilities am I about to get?"

"Spoilers," the man teased. "Explore your gifts on your own, and use them the way you were always meant to."

Now Elias lost his patience completely with this talking vision. "Give me some answers! Why are you doing this to me?" He swiped a hand across the man's face, distorting it as the water churned and bubbled. But when the water settled down, the man was back.

"Elias... do you feel ashamed? Guilty? Monstrous?"

A leaden feeling clenched Elias' stomach. "Yes. I do."

"Did you come to the wilds to find answers to your plight?"

Elias swallowed, his throat dry. "I did."

The man smiled again, and it wasn't a warm smile. "Then I am your second chance. Go back to your world, Elias. You are a man of civilization, a leader of men. Don't miss your calling."

"I was a leader of men. But I proved myself unfit for the job."

"Stop that. Everyone makes mistakes, and now the time has come to forgive yourself."

"And would the widows of my former militia forgive me?"

"They will when you realize your destiny and lead the Chrysos Federation, and the world at large, to a golden age."

"I gave up on destiny and bright futures when I disgraced myself. I deserve this exile."

The man's brow beetled. "No! You do not. Go back to your home, Elias, and prepare to lead the entire world into a new age. It will be a long, challenging process with many sacrifices and pain. But at the end... humanity's ills will be cured for all time. Even the most bitter of medicine can cure the worst ailments."

The man's eyes bored into Elias' own and the disgraced commander felt his defiant will crumbling like old bricks. Yes, the vision-man was right. Elias was too great a leader to just give up like that. He had dreamed of leading the Chrysos Federation as a governor, and he could still realize that dream with the vision-man's help.

Moving like an automaton, Elias numbly rose to his feet and marched back in the direction of Passeleus, his home city. He didn't see the man in the creek smile with teeth sharp like fangs and eyes red as blood.

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## AuntShecky

Well, I'm decades past being a "teen," but I read your first chapter anway, and you know, it's not bad. I can see where it might appeal to young readers. Fantasy is a hot genre at the moment. The trick is not to be derivative, i.e. unconsciously channelling Harry Potter, _The Hunger Games_,_ A Wrinkle in Time_ and the like. So far this seems original, but then I haven't read everything in this genre.

No doubt you already realize that the title's been used before for a highly-popular SF classic by Aldous Huxley. Despite the fact that titles aren't copyrighted, I suggest that you change it, especially if you're thinking of submitting the ms. for publication. 

Couple of features I noticed: First, consider starting _in medias res_, with the girls in the midst of a more active scene, say in the city. This will hook the reader more rapidly than showing them prepare for their day.

Also, cut back on the descriptions. We don't need as much physical detail, except as a way to distinguish one of the sisters from another. You could always fill in the details later, mentioning them in passing via the "drip method," as Hillwalker calls it. The only valid reason to use space for description is to show the detail as an important aspect of the girl's character, such as _why_ she ties up her hair, which you do effectively

Another thing to avoid is stating the obvious, overstating, "telling too much" as in this passage:




> "It was an accident," Chara grated as Anna finished tying the knots.
> 
> "An accident that nearly got us arrested, or even killed," Anna told her sister sternly, taking hold of her upper arms. "Maybe I should have come here alone. This city is too dangerous for..."


Also, watch out for repetition. One of the reasons Harlan Ellison, a well-regarded science fiction author, hated television with such passion was its tendency to say everything three times--"Somebody's at the door. He's coming through the door. He's inside the door." I remembered hearing Harlan saying that years ago( on a talk show on TV, ironically) when I read the captain's teling the heroines: "Good. Good. You girls do good work."

Again, I like the originality-- those bizarre minotaur blacksmiths and the Cyclops knights. Concerning the latter, do you have a scene in which the Cyclops(es) fail to see "eye-to-eye"?

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## Captain_Kuchiki

Thanks for the response, Aunt Shecky. Normally I do the "in media res" method for subsequent chapters in a story but for a pilot chapter I like to start things more slowly so I don't have to do too much infodumping. I guess it's personal preference, but you've got a point about hooking the reader right away. I'll make sure that later chapters use the method you described. I suppose "daily routine" passages in stories are too slow to keep a reader's attention.

I admit that I have not heard of the Huxley book so the title-sharing was a coincidence. I don't plan to publish this material anytime soon, though. I have another fantasy novel that I want to show to publishers titled "Wind Warrior." I'm mostly making this story for personal enrichment  :Smile: 

And yeah, I make sure to avoid following the pattern of established franchises such as Harry Potter and Hunger Games. I want to put my own twists on familiar concepts such as making cyclopses noble knights and blacksmiths instead of man-eating savages. We've all seen enough typical brutes as it is!

PS Now that you mention it, maybe I should make a cyclops eye-to-eye scene...

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## AuntShecky

> I admit that I have not heard of the Huxley book


Good heavens! Drop everything and read it, especially if you plan to write SF/Fantasy fiction.

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## Jassy Melson

I agree. Brave New World belongs to Huxley, and the OP would do well to read the book.

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## AuntShecky

> Brave New World belongs to Huxley


The phrase actually originated with Shakespeare in _The Tempest._

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## Jassy Melson

But it belongs to Huxley in the novel form.

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