# Writing > General Writing >  A Message From Jassy Melson

## Jassy Melson

My book, The Happy Demise of Hidy the Clown and Other Stories, has just gone through its second printing. Ha ha

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## Scheherazade

Congratulations, Jassy. Where can we get copies of your book to read (and maybe help it reach the third printing)?

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## Volya

I find it strange that despite many people asking you, you've never provided any evidence that you have actually published a book. I can't find any mention of it other than in your forum posts here.

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## Calidore

> I find it strange that despite many people asking you, you've never provided any evidence that you have actually published a book. I can't find any mention of it other than in your forum posts here.


Truth. Google's never heard of it, and Google hears about everything.

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## Lokasenna

Still, I guess we should be pleased on your behalf. If even you can get published, it gives hope to all the rest of us...

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## MANICHAEAN

If you are pleased with a particular piece of your writing, I really cannot understand all this need to be published.

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## Jack of Hearts

Bam! In our faces! Take that, us!




J

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## Jassy Melson

In answer to your question, my book was privately published by one of my patrons. Ha Ha.

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## Volya

Ha Ha.

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## Lokasenna

> In answer to your question, my book was privately published by one of my patrons. Ha Ha.


Which one? I would dearly like to purchase a copy, so if you could just put me in touch with any retailer, publisher or literary outlet anywhere in the world, that would be great.

Sadly, Google has let me down - it only shows up stuff here on LitNet. I wonder why that could be? Ha Ha.

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## MANICHAEAN

I always associate "patrons" with the guy running the bar in a French sit com. Ho Ho.
Come on Jassy, lighten up, its nearly Christmas.

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## Delta40

> I always associate "patrons" with the guy running the bar in a French sit com. Ho Ho.
> Come on Jassy, lighten up, its nearly Christmas.


Manch, do you have multiple personalities living all around the world? Wait! YOU'RE HIDY THE CLOWN AREN'T YOU!!!!! (Hiding here and Hiding there, laughing at our expense....)

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## MANICHAEAN

________________________________________
A Smuggler's Song 
________________________________________

IF you wake at midnight, and hear a horse's feet,
Don't go drawing back the blind, or looking in the street,
Them that ask no questions isn't told a lie.
Watch the wall my darling while the Gentlemen go by. 

Five and twenty ponies, 
Trotting through the dark - 
Brandy for the Parson, 'Baccy for the Clerk.
Laces for a lady; letters for a spy,
Watch the wall my darling while the Gentlemen go by! 

Running round the woodlump if you chance to find 
Little barrels, roped and tarred, all full of brandy-wine,
Don't you shout to come and look, nor use 'em for your play.
Put the brishwood back again - and they'll be gone next day ! 

If you see the stable-door setting open wide;
If you see a tired horse lying down inside;
If your mother mends a coat cut about and tore;
If the lining's wet and warm - don't you ask no more ! 

If you meet King George's men, dressed in blue and red,
You be careful what you say, and mindful what is said.
If they call you " pretty maid," and chuck you 'neath the chin,
Don't you tell where no one is, nor yet where no one's been ! 

Knocks and footsteps round the house - whistles after dark -
You've no call for running out till the house-dogs bark.
Trusty's here, and Pincher's here, and see how dumb they lie
They don't fret to follow when the Gentlemen go by ! 

'If You do as you've been told, 'likely there's a chance,
You'll be give a dainty doll, all the way from France,
With a cap of Valenciennes, and a velvet hood - 
A present from the Gentlemen, along 'o being good ! 

Five and twenty ponies, 
Trotting through the dark - 
Brandy for the Parson, 'Baccy for the Clerk.
Them that asks no questions isn't told a lie - 
Watch the wall my darling while the Gentlemen go by ! 

________________________________________

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## Jassy Melson

You're a funny guy, Delta, you should be a clown. Stop gnashing your teeth, and admit that you're jealous.

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## qimissung

Eh, while I'm pleased at your erstwhile success, Delta has no reason to be jealous of you, Jassy. At all. As you full well know.

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## Hawkman

Man, that was always one of my favourites  :Biggrin:  do you perchance remember the Flanders and Swan version, "watch the wall my darling' as the bedstead men go by"?  :Devil:

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## cacian

> You're a funny guy, Delta, you should be a clown. Stop gnashing your teeth, and admit that you're jealous.


jealousy is a pocket
flee
if you let it be
it will punch
glee
and sore is 
truly shree

congrat by the way Jassy. if only publishing made writing easy we would all be singing the tune ''let's write and be merry who knows what words I may next wary''.  :Biggrin:

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## Jack of Hearts

Delta40 is all woman, baby. So unless you're using the term 'funny guy' in some post-modern and uncharacteristically clever manner, this reader is led to believe you just haven't been paying attention. 


She's been around forever, for pete's sake. You're one crazy chick, Jazzy.







J

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## MANICHAEAN

Sorry Hawk don't know that one. Sounds interesting though as I always enjoyed Flanders & Swan and saw their act once back in the 60's when they visited our school in Holland Park.

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## Jassy Melson

Don't try to best me with words, Jack of Hearts. I made my living with words. I advise you to get plenty of rest, take aspirin, and drink plenty of fluids. I advise you to cease all exertion for two weeks. Don't call me, I'll call you.

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## MANICHAEAN

Is it possible that words, mere words, can work such miracles? Or are they not words at all, but chalices and Holy grails, of human passion, full of the life-blood, staining the lips that approach them scarlet, of heart-drained pulse-wearied ravishment?

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## cafolini

> Is it possible that words, mere words, can work such miracles? Or are they not words at all, but chalices and Holy grails, of human passion, full of the life-blood, staining the lips that approach them scarlet, of heart-drained pulse-wearied ravishment?


It's fine. They are words, and they depict what you said they depict, among many other.

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## Jack of Hearts

> Don't try to best me with words, Jack of Hearts. I made my living with words. I advise you to get plenty of rest, take aspirin, and drink plenty of fluids. I advise you to cease all exertion for two weeks. Don't call me, I'll call you.


 Noted! And sorry. This reader stands in terror and awe of your biting wit, and did not mean to incite any verbal violence against himself from your vastly superior mind. He kneels at the altar of your post, cowering like a naked native at the toes of the volcano god, shaking like the insignificant speck of life that he is next to the Christ defying spectacle of the mountain of a steaming pile of genius that is you.

Were you serious about the aspirin though? Will it help with the inflammation?







J

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## Lokasenna

> Noted! And sorry. This reader stands in terror and awe of your biting wit, and did not mean to incite any verbal violence against himself from your vastly superior mind. He kneels at the altar of your post, cowering like a naked native at the toes of the volcano god, shaking like the insignificant speck of life that he is next to the Christ defying spectacle of the mountain of a steaming pile of genius that is you.
> 
> Were you serious about the aspirin though? Will it help with the inflammation?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Love it!

...but watch out for the hit-squad of trained attack clowns!

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## Scheherazade

*Thank you all for your comments.

Now, let's move on.*

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