# Reading > Write a Book Review >  Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

## kelby_lake

Though this is intended for teens, a lot of adults have read it/are considering it so here's my review:

Basically the book (the first in a series of 4) is about a human girl who falls in love with a teenage vampire. It's a very good idea, that's why I read it, but poorly executed.

For starters, the characters. Bella, the narrator, has all the charisma of a soggy Weetabix. She is also whiny and clingy and doesn't appear to have any hormones until Edward, the teen vamp, shows up. I tried to imagine her but all I could come up with was a soggy nymphomaniac Weetabix.
A lot of teens and adults have tried to imagine themselves as her and live out some fantasy- I did try this but then you'd need to like Edward.
Edward is perfection according to Bella- she cannot mention him without saying how beautiful he is. I wasn't convinced as she tended to sound like a gushy greetings card most of the time and Meyer has written the character so he sounds like a freak and not an outcast.
Edward isn't even an interesting freak- he's a cure for insomnia, he's that boring. And readers think he's polite because he doesn't say 'Yo, you hot!' or something. He doesn't appear very charming but apparantly he dazzles people, Bella says. Not me.

As for the rest of the characters, they don't have personalities either. They just appear to be there in order to populate Forks (the town where the book is set). Edward's vampire family have some midly interesting histories but that is not a characteristic. Alice appears to have a personality but the rest are devoid of one.

Ooh, I missed out Jacob, the guy who likes Bella. Given the choice between wolfy toyboy or vampy boytoy it is obvious who one would choose.

And things that don't add up! Why would Bella, in my preview chapter of New Moon, have a nightmare about being 18 when Edward is still 17, but flirt with Jacob who is only 15?
And if Edward is so turned on by Bella's blood, why does he stroke her face and neck etc? Isn't that playing a bit too close to the jugular vein?

Basically my advice is: read the book if you are feeling hormonal/lazy and want a nice fluffy Mills and Boon vampire story where they don't actually get it on. Because with 'booky' Bella (she's read Austen and now we are led to believe she is literary elite) and 'dazzling' Edward (as exciting as toilet paper) you wouldn't want to read it in an intelligent mood.

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## Seabird111

Price of reviews saying nothing but: Oh my GAWD!!! EDWURDZZ IS LI3K TEH HAWTEST THING EVA!!
$0

Price of reviews that actually dissect the book and show me how bad the book apparently is:

$10,000, plus tax.

I doubt I'll read it now. First really good review I've read of that book  :Biggrin: .

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## Gretchen

I once tried to read that book and it was awfully written("Why did I go there, oh yes, because I'm stupid" or whatever it was...). The lead character looks like another annoying shallow spoiled teenage girl(like in many other books for teens).

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## curlyqlink

I'm currently reading Twilight even though I am far too old and I'm the wrong gender. And I have to say, I don't hate it. It's a fun read, not badly written (occasionally it gets repetitious or the dialogue turns stilted, or it bogs down in hyperbole, but hey, it's a YA novel). There are some very good bits too, like when Bella remarks on how her cop father casually hangs his gun on a peg nowadays, figuring she's "old enough now not to shoot myself by accident and not depressed enough to shoot myself on purpose."

This book contains a great deal of overheated yet oddly chaste sexuality. It is a bizarre combination, and frankly is a thing I would never have considered possible. Although come to think of it, it's the same kind of thing that infused Bram Stoker's _Dracula_... a Victorian work that is all about sex even though sex never gets mentioned.

Another curious thing about Twilight is it seems that in spite of 40 years of feminism, girls still apparently dream about taking a strong, moody lover who presents a danger to them. Someone who is dominant and can rescue them... never mind that it is the lover himself who puts the girl in danger. Young Adult fiction is often all about that ghastly thing, the "role model"; Bella makes a curious one, since she seems to have zero self esteem and she's a klutz who falls down a lot.

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## Tallon

I'd never even heard of this book till i joined this forum. Great review though, i love that you described someone as a "soggy nymphomaniac Weetabix"  :Biggrin:

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## Niamh

I can see where Kelby is coming from but you know what? I really enjoyed those books. The tension at the beginning was gripping. And Edwards blood thirst for her while trying to contain his control on his instincts. Its the control that makes it possible to touch her, but it takes a while for him to do it. The first time he touched her on the face sent his instincts crying out for her blood. Could you imagine what that would be like, battling with your intire being not to rip someone apart for a moment of vampire pleasure? Which is what he was considering at the beginning. A long battle with his nature.
I couldnt put the books down when i started reading them, having the whole series read in a week. My advice to people in regards to these books is judge them for yourself. I had listened to people saying they where rubbish and didnt consider reading them until i got bored in work on day and pick Twilight up and loved it. You either love them or hate them, but judge them for yourself.  :Smile:

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## kelby_lake

I didn't find that they had any chemistry at all. An overload of adjectives and cliche does not equal love.

If you're bent on reading the series, stop after New Moon. Eclipse and Breaking Dawn are an insult to women everywhere.

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## ArunSaxena

i tried to read it when one of my friends referred me the novel, but couldn't go more than 10pages.. guess its not the type of story that i would enjoy reading!

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## kelby_lake

I found it sort of hard to get through...

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## SleepyWitch

hey kelby, I wholeheartedly agree with your review, except I think Edward is kinda cute. 
I'm not sure why I find Edward cute, though. I read a review by two teenage girls who said every girl has her own Edward. So it's probably more to do with reader's imagination than with Meyer's talent. Unless you want to say she has a special talent for deliberately describing him in such vague terms that it leaves a lot to readers' imagination. 
Bella is so annoying, I think the only reason she is so klutzy is so that Edward can be a little macho and protect her. Keeps him busy when he's not protecting her from himself.
I'll admit I only read three quarters of the first book, so I can't really judge. But on the other hand, I normally finish a book I like and often even finish the ones I hate.
Why doesn't he bite her and make her a vampire right at the end of the first book and spare us a further three volumes? I mean isn't it obvious from the first page on that she'll have to become a vampire? 
As I said, I haven't read the other installments yet (and hopefully never will), but I agree with many others that Meyer should have stuck to the 'sensual but not sexual' thingy. I like that idea and it's what makes their relationship special, so why spoil it.
Apart from that, I'd like to see some writer pull off the 'sensual but not sexual' thing without vampires etc. I think it would be a much greater literary achievement to write about such a relationship between two ordinary humans _in an interesting way_ without resorting to fantasy.

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## Reccura

*There's a spoiler in this post

I have read the first two books; Twilight and New Moon. My sisters and I didn't bother buying Eclipse because New Moon left me/us without anything-- no excitement whatsoever. I admit to have enjoyed parts of the story, but it's badly written. 
If only Meyer made a short story about her dream about the meadow, it would have been better. Or if she only took time writing it slowly but carefully, like Rowling's and many more authors out there.

Meanwhile, Bella is a negative person who complains about everything she sees, looks for the tiniest flaws, and is like a dead person trying to live. I mean it was a good thing that people in her school were being nice to her, like Mike and Eric, but then she waves them off and says that Mike has somehow turned into a labrador with a wagging tail; how judgmental. Oh, and Meyer described her as an ordinary girl, klutzy and 'relates to no one in the world'. Which, if my experiences aren't wrong, what every teenager feels -- and everyone would feel like Bella, and they'd picture themselves as her in the story.

Then Edward comes like a breath of fresh air, and can be described in one word: Perfect. This is the part where I think Meyer's missing something. >.> Like she's describing her dream man, someone whom she craves or something. 
Like everyone else, everyone's attracted to perfection, and they'd ignore everything else in the world just to be perfect; or near a perfect-someone. 
Edward is such a control freak, maybe because he hasn't had any chance to boss anyone pathetic around a century. Their love for each other isn't really love at all; Edward's only attracted to Bella because of her mouth-watering blood, and Bella because of his dazzling perfection. 

The only real person I see in the book is Jacob Black, because he doesn't pretend for nobody, not at all a control freak, and he isn't negative either. His love for Bella is true; and what Bella felt for him WAS love because he was always there for her, and captured her heart in a 'human' way.

Though I haven't read the last two books, I've seen spoilers and I knew what happened; Bella becomes a vampire, and at seventeen, she had a daughter named Renesmee. Is this a good example for the kids out there? Wanting to have a perfect boyfriend, and get married and pregnant at a young age? To not go to college, abandon her education to be with the one she loves? What a Mary Sue. She's probably the worst heroin I've ever seen.

Read it but don't take anything into account.

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## Lost in LOTR

That is one hell of a review, Kelby Lake. I totally agree with you... especially the "soggy nymphomaniac Weetabix" bit.
A terribly written series. And quite insulting for young women too.
@curlyglink (!) - i think feminism has a longer history than just 40 years...Mary Wollstonecraft and all that... But that aside, I think Mills&boon came along and ruined all the good work... A surly, misanthrophic caveman still seems the most popular turn-on. Stretching it to a teen fantasising about a blood-sucking leech (go Jacob)...that makes the imagination stutter. Sigh.
As a huge fan of fantasy, I cringed at the series. 
As a (pardon me) feminist, I cried. A kid at 17? That's just perfect. Ha.

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## a_little_wisp

I had a friend ask me to write a review for our university paper, but I handed the offer off to another friend. I told the reporter that... I simply couldn't.

The only thing I would be able to write her would be

This rant:

~SPOILERS~


Harry Potter was a miracle. They were easy reads and could hook the reader on the first page. The kids (and adults) who read them never became frustrated, never tired out. For those who had not lived between the shelves of a library for 70% of their young life found themselves, quite possibly for the first time, enjoying to read. They didn't have to critically analyze anything within the books, unless they so desired, and there was no time limit.

Twilight comes out- another, apparently "easy read" (You have no idea, but then, you might - if so, yeah). Immediately, I'm impressed with how many young girls are buying the books - my thirteen year-old sister couldn't get enough of them. After some serious peer pressure, I caved in and read them to better understand the hype.

I love the Cullens, let me say that much. Although I wanted to slam Edward's face into the wall by the last book, I can't deny my stomach did a few small happy flops when he came onto the scene. But after the first book, the "Edward-weee!" pretty much died off.

The reader is seeing through the eyes of Bella, cousin of Eeyore, who looks at the world through muggyrainyickyday-colored glasses. She hates grass, anything green- she misses the concrete of her old home. She doesn't like people. She moves out from her mother's home because she doesn't want to be in the way of her mother and stepfather, and yet is completely unhappy with her decision to move in with her wonderful, loving Father (whom she calls by his first name), who gives her a car on her first day in Forks. When she comes home from school, she cooks for her father, reads and does her homework. She has no social life. She doesn't want one. She thinks she's 'different' from every one around her. 'Older', maybe. Wiser, if I dare say so, and I do.

Throughout this whole series, Bella wants to die. In the second book, when Edward is gone, she puts herself in danger countless times so she can hear Edward's voice in her mind telling her stop. 

So she can *hear his voice* - which is actually her conscience (she's just, I guess, not used to it being there).

Her life IS Edward.

Without him, she is not Bella. She doesn't want to live. Her whole being depends on him. ... 

It's... nauseating.

When we were all in middle school and the heard the story of Romeo and Juliet, we all thought it was very tragic. And now that we're in college, we look at the couple and think, "Poor misunderstood hormonal teenagers."

She is the worst heroine I have ever read of in my life. She doesn't want to go to college, she prefers to hang out with rich, strong, beautiful vampires than regular ol' mortals, she knowingly uses her best friend, Jacob Black, to help herself get over Edward, and she wants to get laid. Immediately. Screw life, she wants to die and have sex with Edward. There are a few, small times where she considers her parents, but... HEY, EDWARD.

I am disappointed in Smeyer. I would have grinned in joy had, in the last book, Bella did not become a vampire, and of her own choosing. I think she would have grown up a little, matured a little- maybe she would have even become a little wiser. I feel sorry for Smeyer, too. I really hope this isn't *her* dream - to throw away her life, rather than have each day that she lives be THAT much richer because you never know which might be your last. I'd always laughed at Louis from Interview with the Vampire for being so dramatic (I'm a Lestat girl, myself), but dear god, why didn't Bella read HIS story, of all the things she has read? Bella should have feared Edward. For one, he was stalking her. Outside her windows. At night. And she even went behind her father's back and let him so they could play around on the bed for awhile. Ladies, stalking is SO NOT CHILL, and it is NOT okay to let younger girls - and boys - think that that is okay. AND of course, because I think people should fear death. cont. in next comment.

They should fear death until they're done with life. Bella had only just begun. A girl shouldn't have to become another creature to see the beauty of the world of around her- it should have been reflected from within herself. Humans are not pathetic creatures.

However. She got young people to read, and I'd rather young people be reading terribly written books than nothing at all. So, Smeyer, try again, when you're older, when you've learned to enjoy life for yourself and no one else, when you've learned to appreciate the verdure of life around you and normal human beings. And also when you've invested in a thesaurus - but I won't get into that.

.... Yeah. That's what I wrote. .... It's a little angry.

The end.

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## SleepyWitch

wow, wisp, I really enjoyed your review. It's extremely well-written. It _is_ angry but it doesn't sound polemical to me.




> Bella should have feared Edward. For one, he was stalking her. Outside her windows. At night. And she even went behind her father's back and let him so they could play around on the bed for awhile. Ladies, stalking is SO NOT CHILL, and it is NOT okay to let younger girls - and boys - think that that is okay. AND of course, because I think people should fear death. cont. in next comment.


Yep, that's exactly what I was worried about before I even read the book. She's so passive and literally waiting for the vampire boy to 'pounce' on her. Seeing as the blood sucking thing is a pretty obvious symbol for sex, what does that teach 'our' kids? Even if the symbolism is initially lost on them, Meyer makes it amply clear the way she goes great length to explain that Edward can't play naughty with her because he can't lose control with her blabla. The first word that came to my mind when I heard about Bella's attitude was 'rape'. ... Not to mention that Edward is about 100 years old. Unless his mental development got arrested when he became a vampire, that technically makes him a very old geezer. So, the message is something like 'all little teeny girls are desperate and passive and just waiting for an old geezer to take advantage of them (as long as he doesn't look his age)' ???

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## *Classic*Charm*

> Yep, that's exactly what I was worried about before I even read the book. She's so passive and literally waiting for the vampire boy to 'pounce' on her. Seeing as the blood sucking thing is a pretty obvious symbol for sex, what does that teach 'our' kids? Even if the symbolism is initially lost on them, Meyer makes it amply clear the way she goes great length to explain that Edward can't play naughty with her because he can't lose control with her blabla. The first word that came to my mind when I heard about Bella's attitude was 'rape'. ... Not to mention that Edward is about 100 years old. Unless his mental development got arrested when he became a vampire, that technically makes him a very old geezer. So, the message is something like 'all little teeny girls are desperate and passive and just waiting for an old geezer to take advantage of them (as long as he doesn't look his age)' ???


I should hope that parents have taught their daughters better than to think like that, and to passively accept that as a message. 

If you read closely enough, you'll find that Meyer says (not explicitly, of course) that a real person like Edward is not possible. She credits his being "so perfect" to a combination of factors that simply aren't possible, that is, 

1) his habits, manners and speech are those one would find in a person of another time (100 years ago or whatever it may be)
2) his ability to use hindsight and his self-control are characteristics of someone much older than 17
3) he's obsessive and passionate and ridiculous like a teenager
4) he has all sorts of impossible physical abilities.

He's an impossible being, even if you disregard the vampire stuff, and I think Meyer makes this clear, so to say that the "message" is that girls should wait around for some old guy to take advantage of them is, to my mind, a little far-fetched. 

Admittedly, these books are being read by girls who I think are too young to be reading all the sex stuff. 

Though, I'm confused on one part- what exactly about Bella and/or her attitude made you think rape? Just curious :Smile:

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## alestar89

My best friend is a fan, and I'd say that this type of book is for more entertainment than anything else. Although I will hand it to Meyer that she DOES have some really nice quips here and there.

Anyway, to each their own. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it, yeah?

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## SleepyWitch

:Eek: 
I talked to an 18-year-old colleague of mine yesterday. She told me that her class mates pin up Edward posters because they hope he will come and bite them at night!!!
She reads the books herself but was totally oblivious to the sexual symbolism! When I told her about it she was like "Seriously?"
So, is it a good thing that the symbolism is lost on them or does that make it even worse because they apparently don't reflect about anything and are happy to wait for the 'vampire' to take advantage of them?

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## kelby_lake

They didn't pick up on the blatant metaphor? God.

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## SleepyWitch

> I should hope that parents have taught their daughters better than to think like that, and to passively accept that as a message. 
> 
> If you read closely enough, you'll find that Meyer says (not explicitly, of course) that a real person like Edward is not possible. She credits his being "so perfect" to a combination of factors that simply aren't possible, that is, 
> 
> 1) his habits, manners and speech are those one would find in a person of another time (100 years ago or whatever it may be)
> 2) his ability to use hindsight and his self-control are characteristics of someone much older than 17
> 3) he's obsessive and passionate and ridiculous like a teenager
> 4) he has all sorts of impossible physical abilities.
> 
> ...


thanks Charm, sorry, I overlooked your post. 
I agree with most of what you said. 
After I read the first book, I don't find Bella that passive anymore and it doesn't make me think of rape anymore except in a very broad sense. She _is_ on little nymphomaniac! So that makes her more active. 
But anyway, I'm not comfortable with her attitude (or rather that of some kids/fans), anyway. I don't like the idea of kids (girls) passively waiting for the vampire to bite them/ lover to.. er 'take' them. What worries me is this whole passive attitude in girls/women, the way they hang around limply and wait for the guy to do stuff to them, as if they didn't have a will of their own or any desires of their own. Now that I've read the first book and seen the film, I don't think Twilight is 100% like that, seeing as Bella goes after Edward etc. BUT I read the quotes on the cover of either Breaking Dawn or Eclipse or whatever and they said something like "He kissed me blablabla, his lips were crushing mine etc."
Why not "I kissed him?" or "We kissed."? I mean, there are books from the late 60s that have got more active women in them, women who know what they want and go get it. 
Look at those girls I mentioned in my previous post: If they want a vampire, why do they lie around limply in their bed and wait for one to come and bite them? Why don't they go out, catch one and bite him or bite him back if the bites them?

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## hoope

I enjoyed reading it alot.. 
i dnt think its bad.. i mean i was so interested to read every page .. so eager to know whats next.. 

ofcourse i prefer classics.. but really its fun reading it ..

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## p.imperfect

They were perfectly okay.. New Moon is my fav.
Eclipse and Breaking Dawn were kind of disappointing though..

Some say the series is dull in language but I find Meyer's style rather enthralling, well, sometimes.

The girls over here are crazy about Edward, too.

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## qimissung

Actually I enjoyed reading it, too. I'm kind of old to be reading this kind of book, but I was curious about it. It is very much meant for the teen-age girl. It's kind of a tribute to Meyers' writing that I found it enjoyable. No, Meyers is not great, but she's very readable,and not in that annoying romance style that I can't stand, although this is, of course a romance.

So why did I like it? Her characters were well enough developed to be somewhat interesting for teenagers. Mostly I thought Meyers excelled at sustaining that intense mood that accompanies falling in love. I haven't read the other books, so I'm wondering how well she is able to capture Bella and Edward developing an actual relationship.

One thing, I seriously doubt I will re-read this book. If I love a book I keep it because I want to experience re-reading it occasionally. And if it's a really good book, I enjoy re-reading every time I pick it up. With this book, while I enjoyed it, I cannot relate to Bella enough and I don't find myself eager to experience her world again. Maybe it's because of Edward-a thoroughly likable young man, but so intensely beautiful and otherworldly that I really cannot, at my age, find him believable. Give me a real, flawed but fascinating human being every time. The idea of living forever is not a big draw any longer, and I think that is part of the thrill for girls-'He's so gorgeous! And he lovers her! And they're going to live forever!!!" 

I am really disappointed to find out she gets pregnant and has a baby at 17. I think it would have been very valuable for Meyers to have Bella want to experience life; and for Meyers to encourage her little heroine to find everything she needs in this adored, perfect male is a little creepy. I'm thinking "Stepford wives." And, you know, that's a little surprising, because when the book opens, Bella is not presented as being like most teenage girls, but as a rather mature young woman, who is emotionally self-sufficient. I guess Edward is supposed to be her soul mate, an idea I do not buy into at all. But, again, I' m disappointed that Bella did not even seem interested in retaining a vestige of her independence and a life outside of her relationship with Edward. I think if she had it would have made a better book.

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## *Classic*Charm*

> thanks Charm, sorry, I overlooked your post. 
> I agree with most of what you said. 
> After I read the first book, I don't find Bella that passive anymore and it doesn't make me think of rape anymore except in a very broad sense. She _is_ on little nymphomaniac! So that makes her more active. 
> But anyway, I'm not comfortable with her attitude (or rather that of some kids/fans), anyway. I don't like the idea of kids (girls) passively waiting for the vampire to bite them/ lover to.. er 'take' them. What worries me is this whole passive attitude in girls/women, the way they hang around limply and wait for the guy to do stuff to them, as if they didn't have a will of their own or any desires of their own. Now that I've read the first book and seen the film, I don't think Twilight is 100% like that, seeing as Bella goes after Edward etc. BUT I read the quotes on the cover of either Breaking Dawn or Eclipse or whatever and they said something like "He kissed me blablabla, his lips were crushing mine etc."
> Why not "I kissed him?" or "We kissed."? I mean, there are books from the late 60s that have got more active women in them, women who know what they want and go get it. 
> Look at those girls I mentioned in my previous post: If they want a vampire, why do they lie around limply in their bed and wait for one to come and bite them? Why don't they go out, catch one and bite him or bite him back if the bites them?


No problem Sleepy!

I see your point about the passivity, but if you go on to read the following books, you'll find that she's not passive. She definitely instigates, especially the whole biting thing. She wants to be bitten, but Edward won't do it. The terms "he kissed me", "I kissed him", "we kissed" are used interchangeably, despite that the book jackets only mention him kissing her. 

I think the issue here may be misinterpretation on behalf of the readers, and I think the reason for that is that they're too young to see that Bella went after Edward, and that she instigates. It goes right along with what I mentioned earlier about the content being to mature for the girls reading it. And if they're seriously waiting around for a vampire to come bite them- their parents have taken a wrong turn somewhere.

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## SleepyWitch

> No problem Sleepy!
> 
> I see your point about the passivity, but if you go on to read the following books, you'll find that she's not passive. She definitely instigates, especially the whole biting thing. She wants to be bitten, but Edward won't do it. The terms "he kissed me", "I kissed him", "we kissed" are used interchangeably, despite that the book jackets only mention him kissing her. 
> 
> I think the issue here may be misinterpretation on behalf of the readers, and I think the reason for that is that they're too young to see that Bella went after Edward, and that she instigates. It goes right along with what I mentioned earlier about the content being to mature for the girls reading it. And if they're seriously waiting around for a vampire to come bite them- their parents have taken a wrong turn somewhere.


ok, I see.
Now I'm curious to read the other books because I want to know what makes those teeny kids tick (I'll be a teacher from September on, so I need to know about teeny culture even if I'm not interested in it myself). But I don't think I'll be able to finish any of those whoppers seeing as I didn't even finish Twilight.

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## crystalmoonshin

I always am of the opinion that when it comes to twilight, it's either one hates it or one loves it. I deeply regret having wasted my time with it. It's no good. To put it bluntly, it's like a shoujo (for girls, mostly about juvenile love) manga/anime turned into a book. I may love anime but I'm serious in what I read.

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## kelby_lake

I got that feeling- it would work perfectly as an anime. But it makes a rubbish novel.

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## *Classic*Charm*

Oh I'm not saying it's well written. Quite the contrary. The terrible grammar was really distracting- I wondered at times if it had even been edited. 

I just found the story and the impossible romance addicting. They were my Christmas break fling- I'm past them now lol.

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## Emil Miller

> Look at those girls I mentioned in my previous post: If they want a vampire, why do they lie around limply in their bed and wait for one to come and bite them? Why don't they go out, catch one and bite him or bite him back if the bites them?




I came across this thread whilst perusing the profile of one of my Litnet friends and it's one of the most hilarious on the whole forum.
The above extract is only one of many that has me laughing out loud.
How does one catch a vampire ? Are there special vampire nets such as those for catching butterflies only much larger ?
As for girls biting men, in my experience they usally do but the man, even if he isn't a vampire, always has to bite first.

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## qimissung

What! Don't you want to fall in love with a vampire? 

I think to catch one you have to smell really, really good. That's what Bella does anyway.

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## Silas Thorne

No, I think for a guy to catch a vampire you'd probably have to be really cool and play guitar, or be a beat poet, or something... :Smile:  Or to be a mafia don.

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## Emil Miller

[QUOTE=qimissung;699401]What! Don't you want to fall in love with a vampire? QUOTE]


Far from falling in love with them, I find Vampires to be a pain in the neck.

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## Scheherazade

> Originally Posted by qimissung
> 
> 
> What! Don't you want to fall in love with a vampire?
> 
> 
> 
> Far from falling in love with them, I find Vampires to be a pain in the neck.


Har har!

 :Biggrin:

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## Emil Miller

> No, I think for a guy to catch a vampire you'd probably have to be really cool and play guitar, or be a beat poet, or something... Or to be a mafia don.


The thought of guitar players, beat poets and mafia dons being bitten by vampires does have a certain appeal but I think dinosaurs would would do an even better job.

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## *Classic*Charm*

> The thought of guitar players, beat poets and mafia dons being bitten by vampires does have a certain appeal but I think dinosaurs would would do an even better job.


Ouch! Not that you're bitter or anything, eh Brian?  :Wink:  I'm joking, I promise.

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## Emil Miller

> Ouch! Not that you're bitter or anything, eh Brian?  I'm joking, I promise.


Well I admit it was a bit unthinking of me, so I'll leave out the mafia dons.
I'm not joking, I promise.

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## *Classic*Charm*

> Well I admit it was a bit unthinking of me, so I'll leave out the mafia dons.
> I'm not joking, I promise.


Hahaha, no, I wouldn't think you were.

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## Emil Miller

I notice that the majority of posts on this thread appear to be from females. Reading the comments from a male perspective, Edward comes across as a kind of Mr Darcy with fangs. Personally I'm all in favour of young women lying limply on beds waiting to be bitten, but why bring vampires into it?

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## kelby_lake

Ha ha!

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## Joreads

> I came across this thread whilst perusing the profile of one of my Litnet friends and it's one of the most hilarious on the whole forum.
> The above extract is only one of many that has me laughing out loud.
> How does one catch a vampire ? Are there special vampire nets such as those for catching butterflies only much larger ?
> As for girls biting men, in my experience they usally do but the man, even if he isn't a vampire, always has to bite first.


Brian it is 2009 girls can bite first these days :Biggrin:

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## Emil Miller

> Brian it is 2009 girls can bite first these days


Glad to hear it. Unfortunately, the only female to bite me in 2009 has been my cat Milly.

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## *Classic*Charm*

> glad to hear it. Unfortunately, the only female to bite me in 2009 has been my cat milly.


hahahahahah!!!

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## kelby_lake

If ordinary people are that pathetic, I worry for them. I did try to fit myself into her shoes but then I realised I'd have to re-write the book.

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## Sk8ynat

I was trying to avoid Twilight until the hype died down a bit, (the fans were scaring me....)
But my friend bought it for me as a birthday present, and I didn't want to be rude...
It's not usually the kind of book I'd read. I prefer slow, relatively uneventful books, (yes, I'm an incredibly boring person!) But I found Twilight amazingly addictive. Meh.

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## IJustMadeThatUp

> I found Twilight amazingly addictive. Meh.


I'm ashamed to admit it, but me too  :FRlol: 

It took me back to my high school days where I would have life-monopolising crushes. I was never one to go out and "bite"  :FRlol:

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## Mortis Anarchy

Aye....what is there to say about it! I read the first one for my Mass Communication class last semester. I found it annoying--But I can see why people would get hooked on it. It is a very easy read and gentle on the mind--but the best thing that came out of this book was the movie. Oh boy, that movie was hilarious. I have never had so much fun watching a movie like that before. I wish that I sparkled like that and made that exact noise! Classic bad movie. 

Oh, and in response to below postings as Edward being the modern Mr. Darcy, Mr. Darcy has WAY more class. :Tongue:

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## *Classic*Charm*

> Oh, and in response to below postings as Edward being the modern Mr. Darcy, Mr. Darcy has WAY more class.


Who drew that comparison! That's INSANE. Darcy is a class of his own  :Biggrin:

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## Mortis Anarchy

> Who drew that comparison! That's INSANE. Darcy is a class of his own


I KNOW!!! Oh, it was a Mr. Bean from down below. Haha, oh well.  :Tongue:

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## Buh4Bee

I'm glad I found this thread. I still can't understand why people like this book so much. I can see why teenage girls might like it, but adult women? Come on! I read it and know about ten other women who have read it and about half liked it.

In this case, I think the movie was better than the book.

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## kelby_lake

New movie looks dreadful

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## LilyPan

> If you're bent on reading the series, stop after New Moon. Eclipse and Breaking Dawn are an insult to women everywhere.


How is Eclipse and insult to women?? Okay, Breaking Dawn I can kind of understand where you are coming from but Eclipse? It has the most action in the entire series! I'm a girl and I love it.




> I just found the story and the impossible romance addicting. They were my Christmas break fling- I'm past them now lol.



I totally agree. That's why I read them. But really for all of who keep bashing it... How would you feel if you wrote something that others loved which made you happy and then came here and read some people tearing it up? I'm pretty sure it would hurt your feelings. Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinions but really its just a book! You can hate it or love it but don't go telling people to not read it. Let them make their judgment. Tell them that it wasn't a good book for yourself but that they should try it.

Also, even though some of the characters were boring and Bella and Edwards relationship is impossible, It's true love for them. None of you here can honestly tell me that you have never thought or dreamed about meeting your perfect match. The one who will love you forever no matter what and can make your day better in a heart beat. Everyone wants it for themselves. We are human and that's how we are.
We all want a happy ending.

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## balehead

> It's a very good idea, that's why I read it, but poorly executed.


I have to disagree. I think that it's an idea which has been overdone and used up, and there is nothing original about the stories, but the style of writing is so uncomplex and different to what i usually read that I was interested by that alone, though i quickly saw through the plot-holes and 'complexities' (over-statement of the century) of the story

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## Jazz_

> Who drew that comparison! That's INSANE. Darcy is a class of his own


You can say that again  :Wink:  Can you imagine Darcy sneaking into Elizabeth's bedroom and watching her as she sleeps? Or playing around in bed with her father downstairs?

That said, I have to admit I did find Twilight addictive - I acknowledge it's many flaws (as pointed out previously) - but something about it got me hooked. Yet to read the sequels - but I did enjoy the first.

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## Morterogio

I know a BIG Fail in this book...
A man...Whose blood doesn't run...HAVING SEX!?!?!?
ok...
I took those books and read them...Not anything worth reading...
I have been obsessed by vampires from the time i read Cirque Du Freak And vampires DO NOT glitter...(I have read most of the books about vampires xD)
Book has a very bad story and lot of...Fails...
Did you know that there is first book also in the view of Edward?
http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/midnightsun.html
fAiL...A Damn stalker...

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## kelby_lake

> I know a BIG Fail in this book...
> A man...Whose blood doesn't run...HAVING SEX!?!?!?
> ok...


He has 'special' venom (yes, I know).

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## applepie

> I'm glad I found this thread. I still can't understand why people like this book so much. I can see why teenage girls might like it, but adult women? Come on! I read it and know about ten other women who have read it and about half liked it.
> 
> In this case, I think the movie was better than the book.


 :FRlol:  I know the feeling. I've read all the books, and while they're entertaining in an odd way, they're not that great. If you really like this genera then maybe pick up some L.J. Smith. I know a lot of teens think she is new to the scene, but the truth is that she was writing books when I was a kid. They're not as angst filled as the Twilight series, and that is a good thing.

My biggest complaint about Twilight is that there is nothing real feeling about the characters to me, but then I'm not a teen anymore so I can relate much less. All the emotions are so much bigger than life, and the books do a good job of focusing on the melodrama of being a teenager. Overall I would just say they're mediocre. The story isn't that good, but then it fits the target it was written for perfectly.

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## scaltz

Contrary to Harry Potter, this book is incredibly gruesome to read. Maybe it's because of the fact that there are TONS of things to analyse in Harry Potter whereas Twilight's story may be summarized to a single sentence: It's a beautiful lie about love.

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## apothecary

> If you really like this genera then maybe pick up some L.J. Smith.


I agree--I used to love the Nightworld series when I was a teenager  :Nod:

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## applepie

> I agree--I used to love the Nightworld series when I was a teenager


There is that one and The Vampire Diaries. I think they're both superior :Smile:

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